Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Parry, Riposte, Slash

I had a long day at work today, and ended up staying an hour and a half after shift. I should have just gone to bed, but there was an argument that needed to be settle.

Chris Sims has posted a number of pictures of Kyle in his natural element, vs Darkseid in his supposedly natural element as proof that Darkseid is a better character than Kyle.

I could easily steal those very pictures and repost them here as proof that Kyle is a far more entertaining and interesting character than Darkseid. But I am too lazy, and I did have a long day at work. Instead, I propose another comparison that should put an end to the argument.

(Of course, even though I feel that this should silence all dissenting opinions, and even though I have studied both character's rears extensively, I would be remiss in ignoring any links in the comment section offering a comparison based on such an important physical trait. So if you've got them, flaunt them!)

Anyway, for the definitive argument in this sort of disagreement, we must turn to the true experts. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the Fans.

Most specifically, the Slashers.

No, I don't mean the post-Emerald Twilight vandals who went after Ron Marz's tires. No, I mean the subset of fans that romantically pair characters that are not overtly coupled in canonical writing,

No one has such a discerning eye as the Slashers. Who else sees the subtle character interactions and nuances better than those so obsessed that they write their own stories based on homosexual pairings of the main characters that would never make it past the censors in the regular series? Who else can pick up the subtle clues of the actuals writers and artists almost instantly, sometimes from a single panel? Who else can pluck at the myriad plot threads left over decades of writing and weave the unthinkable into a coherent tale? Who else thumbs their nose at convention? Is invulnerable to copyright laws?

Yes, the Slashers, and the Mainstream writers know them, and yes, throw them a Bone (Roque Ja/Phoncible P) every once in a while.

And what pairings have the writers hinted at for Kyle Rayner fangirls to squeal over? Why, flings with none other than Hal Jordan and Bruce freaking Wayne.

And who is Darkseid destined to spend his future days with?


Ahh... Young Love...


  1. When you reach the point in an argument where you find yourself citing Jeph Loeb to support your position it's probably time to find a way to change the subject.

  2. You're using slash to back your point? Are you doing it to make it easy for Great Darkseid?

    I understand - in attempting to defeat Great Darkseid, you have looked upon His Glory, and been shivered and blasted in awe of The Mighty Lord of Apokolips. What you have seen has driven you insane.

  3. "What you have seen has driven you insane."

    Martin--I think, if you're going to defend Chris Sims here, what you need to say is:

    "You are now freaking out."

  4. Frankly, a Darkseid Mxy pairing is just about as cool as anything thought up in the Silver Age.

    I think you just tipped the scales in favor of the Lord of Apokolips.

  5. Actually, looking at that picture did put Darkbutt on the list...

    (Just not as high as Kyle)

  6. Appealing to slash fiction writers in a post called "Parry, Riposte, Slash" is tantamount to waiting for the buck-and-a-quarter quarterstaff to bounce off the log and smack you right in the beak there, Daffy.

    I declare myself victorious!

    "Oh-ho. It is to laugh."

  7. Looking like that, he managed to talk two Apokalips women into marrying him. Also he was a big fan of Wonder Woman on The Superfriends

    Has Drakseid's ex-wife ever been seen in the comics since the original Mr. Miracle?

    Because I liked her.

  8. Yeah, but "You are now freaking out" isn't my phrase, so I just went with something a bit more Kirbysome.

  9. Chris Sims -- Believe what you want, Battery-Boy.

    Christopher -- I remember her (Orion's Mom, right?). She hated him. She was cool.

    Martin -- It was quite Kirbyesque.