Psst!

I heard a rumor, through a friend, of a friend, of a friend. He owns a comic book store, and apparently got an early look at the Detective Comics #818.

There is a huge development in this issue.

And I mean massive here. One of the primary reasons to use the internet as a comic book fan will disappear forever if this is true.

You see, they bring back something which has no been seen for a long time yet. Something that, in its absence, has fundamentally affected every DC reader's enjoyment of the story at some point. Something sorely missed by nostalgic fans.

This something will make comics more accessible to new readers while it panders to the long-time fans.

I'm speaking, of course, about..



Editorial Noteboxes!



But you didn't hear it from me.

You have a better idea?

I was forming ideas for a post on Green Lantern/Green Arrow #82 when I noticed something unusual. Well, something unusual when you're used to modern DC comics. Something missing even from reprinted collections.

It was a letters page.

I couldn't resist a peek, so I glanced at a few of the letters. One letter, from a man who hated everything except for the art, stood out to me.

What really bothers me was how GL stopped the big fight by saying, "Nothing will be settled like THIS!" and then started slugging it out with Green Arrow.

There may be something wrong with me, but I honestly can't think of a better way to stop a conflict than by taking out Ollie Queen.

The Dumbest Man in the DCU

In the commentary to this post, Scipio makes an interesting claim.

Oh, no question about it.
The only people in the DCU dumber than Hal are his brothers.

Scipio is wrong. There is at least one other person in the DCU dumber than Hal Jordan.

Who?



Oliver Queen, the Green Arrow.

Take the Green Lantern/Green Arrow social commentary comic-book series by Denny O'Neil and Neal Adams, for example. This arguably defined both characters for the next 35 years, and it covered a lot of social ground in the meantime. One of the most famous stories, "Snowbirds Don't Fly" tackled drug abuse. It's set right after Hal and Ollie have gotten back from a road trip. This is the "Hard-Traveling Heroes" roadtrip, important because Oliver Queen (white male raised in upper class society) has been teaching Hal Jordan about the evils of racism, sexism, and classism. (Why yes, he does come off as an insensitive jerk even when he's right, how did you know?)



A reader who knows the characters understands that Hal can afford to take this trip. He lives alone, is a traveling salesman (who used to be a pilot, who used to be an insurance investigator...etc... Hal's jobs vary with his girlfriends, but that's another post entirely), has no one depending one him -- he can just pack up and leave. Ollie, on the other hand, has a young sidekick -- Roy Harper, also known as Speedy (and no, I have no idea why they named the archer kid Speedy and the superfast kid Kid Flash) -- that he up and leaves for this trip. The boy appears to be in his teens, and I see no evidence that he had any supervision whatsoever while Ollie was gone.

After the two adults get back, they run into Roy while investigating drugs and assume he's on the same track as them. He even rescues them after they've been knocked out and given drugs in an attempt to frame them.

The experience of being high leaves Hal asking why anyone would voluntarily undergo it. Roy gives him an eloquent, tear-jerking, and fucking transparent answer.



Now, most of us who've read DC comics know what he means already, so I may be wrong about how obvious it is. But I'd be willing to lay down my own hard-earned money that the majority of people who see that panel and have no knowledge whatsoever about the DC Universe other than the fact that the blonde bearded idiot and the redheaded kid have a hero-sidekick relationship will be able to know exactly what he's talking about.

But does Ollie?



In fact, he comes home and walks in on Roy in the act of shooting up and is absolutely shocked.

Does Hal? Well, it takes him a while, but he actually gets it.



The proof is in the panels, ladies and gentlemen. Green Lantern is seriously the smarter member of the team.

Carnival of Feminists 11/Call for Submissions for 12

Carnival of Feminists issue 11 is up at Angry for a Reason today. Check it out. Then come back and see the commentary on the below picture:



I'll be hosting the Twelfth Carnival of Feminists at this very blog on April 5th (Before I read Infinite Crisis #6 even. It'll be a slight change of pace for my regulars since this isn't normally a political blog unless it crosses into comic books, but it doesn't hurt to visit the real world every once in a while

Requirements: Any posts written to address a woman's place in the world from a feminist point of view are welcome. The optional and arbitary catergories for this issue will be Influences, Inpirations, Culture Reversal and Other. Deadline is April 3rd and I'll be accepting posts made after the last deadline of March 20th.

Please email submissions to ragnellthefoul AT gmail DOT com or attach the Technorati Tag carnival12 to your post.

EDIT: Also, there's a Blog Carnival Submissions Form for your convenience.

Did he seriously quit over this?

I've been skimming the Isaac Hayes rumors that are flying around not only the blogosphere but the "Respectable" newsmedia. I found the episode YouTubed and linked on someone's livejournal.

I hadn't seen it, but was naturally curious. Was is possible that it was treated with less respect than the major organized religions? I mean, the Mormons got smoked. Maybe there's a reason to be offended. Maybe people are massively misunderstanding Scientologists. My own religion embraces some fairly kooky stuff. It has questionable origins. Who am I to judge?

So, I did try to approach this objectively. Two items did me in.

I'd forgotten what the E-meter was. I've read about the little black box before and was under the impression that it was an unreliable medical tool (In Cults of Unreason I remember reading that shortly after Hubbard began using it, the regular medical community stopped using it) for measuring body temperature and pulse. Good thing I googled it. It's really just an Ohmmeter for your flesh. Now, I must confess I do believe in a lot of New Age and mystical stuff, but I also work on electronics and I can't imagine using test equipment to try and pin down the metaphysical without learning what it's doing and what causes it to do that in the natural world. I think it comes from having to actually read up on all that stupid test equipment in case I actually do need to know how an Ohmmeter is measuring resistance to account for a bad reading. This knowledge about the E-meter threatened to melt a part of brain when I saw it.

I survived that mention, only to have my brain turned to mint jelly around the time they said "..looked like DC-8s.." You see, I've been in Aviation longer than Electronics. I couldn't handle that, and the accompanying animation didn't help.

I had a nice Green Lantern essay in mind, but am unable to complete it because of this experience. While my mind recovers from the shock, see for yourself:

The Episode



The South Park Scientology Episode.

Congratulations, Phantom Stranger!

Well, I found out from Chris of the Two Guys about the DC Press Announcements made at the last convention. One of my favorites, the Phantom Stranger (he is on my SureSell list, though I unforgiveably forgot him until I saw this news) is in line for a "Showcase issue." Now, if this means a Showcase Presents Volume (which I'm all too ready to believe for my own gigginess) I'm amazingly excited. I'm already rubbing my hands together greedily. I can just feel that weighty paperback in my hands, filled to the brim with black and white mystical goodness.

(If it's just a single issue, I still want it. Right now.)

In other news..

-- All Star Wonder Woman is vaguely hinted at, but nothing is overtly confirmed.

-- Jack Knight (Starman, retired) is promised to appear in 52.

-- As is Ambush Bug.

-- And Kyle Rayner still can't cut a break.

Asked if Kyle Rayner would get a new girlfriend, Didio joked, “First we hope he gets a new mask.”
-The next few moments were spent on jokes about the high turnover of Kyle girlfriends, with the highlight being comparisons between Kyle’s girlfriends and drummers for Spinal Tap.

(I hope that means he will actually get a new mask.)

Why I Love Zamaron

The Zamarons are the best alien race in the DCU because of their skilled marriage counselors:

So I didn't post anything on St. Patrick's Day...

I didn't feel up to it. I'd had a long night at work. It left me wondering why I only ever get to go out to the plane when there's a problem that's not actually there, that we need to sit and try and duplicate for the entire shift.

Oh, and why I always get broken ground support equipment. That wastes a few hours.

I'm green everyday anyway.

But I've also got a smidgeon of Irish Ancestry, so here's a belated gift courtesy of Green Lantern Corps: Recharge #5:

Professional Help May Be in Order...

Chris challenged me earlier tonight when he told me about my last post.

"If you keep this up," he remarked, "you'll have that entire John Stewart story up on your blog with a seven hundred word interpretation of each panel."

"I could easily do that," I answered, "but I'm not really so bad. For example, I can post the third panel tonight with just the sentence 'Never, ever say this to a cop.'"

And I fully intended to do exactly that.

Until I pulled the panel up and saw it separated from the rest of the story.



Then I noticed the threatening posture of the cop, and the size-proximity trick Adams does here, and the shadow falling on John's face. All tricks to make John seem more vulnerable in this situation, and emphasize his courage. There's also some trick with the emotions going on here. The background is suddenly stark white with blue word balloons. Having the word balloons darker than the picture here adds extra emphasize to the word. Tension is building, emotions are running high.

With all those beautiful techniques, who could simply go for the cop joke? I used to just go by the general feeling of an artist. I liked a certain soft cheesecake style, and took little interest outside of it. I grew to appreciate the non-traditional types, because a talent for fluid motion would catch my eyes, or an expressiveness in the characters. Now I'm becoming obsessed for the first time with artistic symbolism. I love it. So much can be conveyed with a few small shortcuts. It's amazing, and, like the writers, I'm not sure the artists realize they are doing this.

I think I may be infatuated with this penciller. I can't stop thinking his panels. His gorgeous, shadowy, symbolic panels. Fortunately for me, I have no address for my embarrassing love letters, so I'll be spared the same humiliation I felt when I realized how much time I'd wasted writing to that kid on Seaquest in elementary school.

Unfortunately for you, dear readers, it means I'll be using this blog as an outlet for my insane ramblings about this story until I find something else to distract me.

If I don't see this distraction today, I'd like to apologize in advance. This could get a lot worse before it gets better.

Our First Look at John Stewart

I wasn't going to keep doing this, but the yellow background is nagging at me. Anywhere else, I'd accept that it's a random color. But this is a panel found in Green Lantern. For 30 years, this was the sole weakness of Green Lantern. Their powers were unable to affect anything yellow (Please note the date on that linked post). Yellow is not cavalierly thrown around in this franchise. It's usually there as a means of hurting the main character. It's been there as a mistake, which made Superfriends interesting ("Everytime Green Lantern's ring affects yellow, take a shot").

Sometimes, though, its symbolic. It's the color of the ground on an alien planet, the background of choice for a villain, or the color of an ex-girlfriend's scarf. It can be representative of limitations, weaknesses, vulnerabilities, restrictions, or fears.




This is the first time we get to see John. He is about to be inducted into the Green Lantern Corps, and he is surrounded by yellow. I'm not sure what to make of it. I find it hard to believe that, for a new Lantern's first appearance, they would just arbitrarily pick a "Yellow Background."

There's other subtleties here.

This is the second panel of the page. Right away, any comic book reader knows to chuck the standard superhero image out the door in this setup. The standard would have shown up in the first panel, because why create even minor suspense for what's expected anyway? For a huge surprise, someone we've seen before and have reason not to expect, it's traditional to make the reader turn the page. Here, it's just a panel. O'Neil held off just long enough so that we'd pause and think about what we read and saw before we actually see the new guy. This is a new personed, but this will not be someone like Hal. Most likely, judging by the language of the first panel, this will be someone at odds with Hal.

I think the intended effect of that pause is lost on today's readers. We don't really have a good representation of the American population in regular DC comics yet, but it's a lot better than back then. At this point in time, 1972, it was probably unheard of to bring in a different race as a replacement. So, even with the previous panel, a reader was probably expecting a white man, even with second panel introduction. Probably an activist who'd be at odds with Green Lantern like Green Arrow was, but still with a certain look.

There's not much extra in the panel, they didn't want us to get distracted from John himself. We do learn a lot about him in the first glimpse. Nevertheless, we can learn quit a bit about the man here.

We learn he's a sarcastic smartass who doesn't automatically grant his respect to a scary uniform by his words alone. His sneer and the tilt of his head add a condescending dismissal to this.

We learn he's dumb enough to approach an armed policeman from behind, and touch his shoulder. You don't do that, even joking, without immediately hitting the pavement. (This was just a particularly crummy cop all-around)

He's man enough to wear pink.

He's got a sense of fairness, justice and the courage to step in when he sees an authority figure abusing their authority (again, refer back to the first panel, the sidewalk is not being blocked). Even when he is in all likelihood about to get in severe trouble for it. I can see how Katma Tui, a native of Korugar from when it was under Sinestro's Totalitarian Regime, would be so much more attacted to John than Hal. Hal's a "work with the system" type, his courage is physical. John's social courage is so much more impressive to a woman of Kat's background.

Yet, the yellow background still eludes me. Does it mean that he's leaving restrictions and limitations behind him now? Or does it represent a certain fear that accompanies his actions? He's doing a very brave, but very stupid thing here when he comes up behind a cop who's abusing his authority. Does the yellow in the background subtly tell us that John recognizes his actions, knows the consequences, and is leaving his fears behind him?

It could simply be foreshadowing the rocky start to his relationship with Hal. They start off fine as trainer and trainee, but there's a barrier created by unspoken feelings. The obvious cause for the barrier (particularly in this run of Green Lantern) is prejudice. I picked up this story expecting an After School Special about racism. But that level of characterization is actually quite subtle. It exists, and surfaces, but there is a much more overt character conflict that causes the barrier. Hal and John have separate values. Hal's worship of Authority is well-established by this point in O'Neil's run. John's attitude towards authority is immediately established in this panel. Hal is placed in authority over John as his trainer, and Hal is witnessing this scene as his first impression of John. Ther judgement is there on both appearance and character. The racial prejudice is a much more obvious problem. It's something both men want to avoid, they don't want to confront this attitude. As a result, the major disagreement, the dissenting values, goes unexplored and unresolved. This creates an undercurrent of tension between the two that lasts much of the John's initial training, until the plot of the story interferes and forces both conflicts to the surface.

Because most of the barrier on Hal's side is caused by this first impression, it's very sensible to introduce John surrounded by a color that presents a barrier to Hal's powers.

Katma Tui's First Look

I found the debut story Katma Tui, the first female Green Lantern. Published way back in 1964, in the back of Green Lantern #30. Here's the title page. It has a significance that my regular readers will understand instantly.


(Here's a clue for the rest of you)

Warrior Wrongness

Guy Gardner: Warrior was a weird comic. Some of the plotlines included extras like the main character finding out that he's an alien-human hybrid and the last of an almost extinct species, the main character speaking the dialect of a Norse Demi-goddess that he used to date, random Lobo appearances, physical trips to Guy's subconscious, a Restaurant premier attended by every superhero in the DCU, hand-to-hand combat with Parallax, and involuntary gender-bending to say the least.

One image, however, stands out from the crowd for it's sheer WTF-?ness. Because under no circumstances should Wonder Woman ever, ever, even in a dream sequence, even doing a sarcastic joke making fun of the women in Patriarch's World or how the men think of women, ever look like this:



Should a fantasy sequence ever call for her to strike such a pose, she should stop immediately beforehand and apologize. "I'm sorry, I just can't do it. It's just not me." It will be okay, she can take the paycut. Have Donna Troy stand in.

This picture is at odds with every know character trait of the Amazon Princess. It's jarring. That pose and that character simply do not belong together in a sane universe. Actually, it's even beyond Alternate Reality strangeness. That pose and that character simply do not belong together.

My mind will not accept this picture. My eyes slide off the page and the image leaks out of the back of my head. Each time I look at it, I am traumatized anew because I was unable to log the image in my memory.

It is just not right.

Stewart's First Words

I got my hands on the first John Stewart story -- Green Lantern #87 (Volume 2). To be honest I was expecting to hate it, but I wanted too badly to see John's creation. I think my low expectations may have been because of Winick's heavy-handed run on Green Lantern, but that's enough material for a whole other post.

Instead, I'm going to show first panel of the first page that featured John, and share two thoughts about it.



Notice the word Guardians is in strong text. Hal and Guy were both chosen by a desperate dying Green Lantern. So was Sinestro. John is the first character personally selected by the Guardians. The intention may have been to show that this was standard practice, but it's the first time we've seen it. I think this was a subtle characterization fo Hal. O'Neil essentially said that Hal would never have picked Hohn, even if the ring outright told him that john was the best choice. The higher-ups had to specifically step in and tell him "You will train this man."

I like how Adams subtly characterizes the "Good Cop" in this panel. He positions him directly beneath the halo. He's standing up straight, standing back from the wrong that's occuring and holding a book that resembles a Bible. Meanwhile, the "Bad Cop"stands on a darkened doorstop and shakes his weapon threateningly. These characters only appear for half a page, but he sets up the basic personalities very clearly.

Finally, I may be stretching a bit here, but it's funny that John's first words in print are "Good Advice." This is pretty much the role John plays as a Lantern now. He gives good advice. He was basically a mentor and advisor during Kyle's tenure. Now that he's back to active duty, John still only appears in the advisor role. He relays information from other heroes and spouts exposition to Hal, who then goes and deals with the action.

Hell, even in Mosaic John's personal story, John was there in an advisory capacity. He was there to try and get everyone to learn to communicate and live together, and keep problems under wraps -- but all John could really do was advise. The communication and learning of the Mosaic was in the hands of the residents. This may be because, from the very start, John tends to be portrayed as more intelligent, stable and thoughtful than the characters around him. He's generally not the person in need of advice, so writers use him to give it to the other characters. This probably contributes to his being shoved into the background.

I Can't Look Away

Posting came to a Screeching Halt this week due to my fascination with the workings of flawed logic and my procrastination when it requires me to reread my own post to find out where the miscommunication occurred.

As a result of this morbid combination, I've left my "Adolescent Power Fantasy" thread up for three days, and not added anything to the discussion brewing there. Each day I find a longer list of things to address should I choose to post. I'm putting it off until I've slept again, because as I stated above, it requires me to reread my own wretched writing. Rest assured, reasonable readers, I will set the record straight.

Then regular posting will resume.

In the meantime, please enjoy these other choice selections:
-- Referring back to the below conversation on femininity, Dan asks about masculinity (and compliments me so nicely I'm not sure how to respond).
-- Gordon's Blog Against Sexism Day post which I thought I'd mention here because I can't seem to get comments to work on his blog, and I couldn't fit it under the topics of WFA.
-- Jen risks her independant mind and soul to review FX's Black. White. Episode 1 for us. *Shudder* Reality TV.
-- I agree with Mickle about Disney Princesses. And I thought her grammar lesson added another dimension to Kalinara's complaint.
-- I've been spending a lot of time wandering around Scott's Comics and Medicine archvies. Too much perhaps, because when I read through this old argument on Insensitive Gynecologists and came to a comment that described one lady's incredibly lucky find (after the pregnancy rant, third Doctor described) all I could think of was how much he sounded like Dr. Mid-nite. She didn't outright mention that he was blind, and had a slight Norwegian accent and an owl in the examination room. But still, not too far off.
-- And, if that's not enough, Tuesday saw the Tenth Carnival of Feminists posted for your reading pleasure.

Where's My Adolescent Power Fantasy?

(My own Blog Against Sexism Day contribution)



I got into an argument in a chatroom once. I'll pause here long enough for you to get over your disbelief. Anyway, someone expressed annoyance that the majority of new female characters were of the "Amazon" variety. Which confused me, since we hadn't had new Amazons come out of Wonder Woman for a few years yet. He said that he felt that there were personality differences in men and women, and that most of the female characters he saw were like "men with breasts." This statement annoyed me immeasurably, but it was long before I'd really started to think about feminity. I was still taking gender roles at face value. I listed off a few nuturer and female stereotype characters that were popular (Ice, Donna Troy -- which got into an argument in and off itself. "You think Donna Troy is a soft nuturer?" "Yes. She's a soapy supportive type woman who loses her temper easily. Stereotype nuturer") and spouted some New Age explanation of feminity (which now that I've had time to explore the question a bit, seems horrifically erroneous) that he found 'interesting' and we decided to end the disagreement with a truce.

The Point

But this argument stayed with me, long after I'd forgotten the name of the man I disagreed with. I've only recently realized why. He was trying to tell me that the characters that I identified with, the characters who behaved in the way that I wanted to be able to, were unfeminine. He was essentially telling me that not only did I not want to be a woman, I wasn't even a valid woman because I wasn't a soft, receptive, nuturer. The more I think about this, the angrier I get, and the better it is that I don't rememebr his name. I'd love to set him straight, though.

He and like-minded individuals who call strong women characters "men with breasts" or "Amazons" (same tone as "Unicorns") are missing something very important. They've probably realized that superheroes are an "Adolescent Power Fantasy" because that much is obvious. But they think of twelve year old boys when they think of it. They haven't looked beyond their own gender to realize that woman also have "Adolescent Power Fantasies." It's unheard of, because females are supposed to fantasize about love and romance and world peace and crap like that. Women don't want to be punch out the people who offend them. That's ridiculous, only men have those impulses. Women want more substance from their comics. They read Sandman dontcha know?

I suppose now I should clarify that this was a chatroom on a superhero fansite, specifically about Green Lantern. And it would be logical to conclude that a woman reading Green Lantern is probably reading it because it has the same appeal for her that it would if she were a man. I freely admit to reading a lot into my comic books. Particularly superheroics. It's not because I specifically got into superhero comics looking for meaning and symbolism. It's because I was already reading the books and I started to notice the patterns.

I started reading when I was teenaged girl. I was just being exposed to the real world and its attitudes about women. I was not happy about it. My mother embarked on quest to ensure that I would never trust a boy enough to get pregnant during High School or college. To give you an idea of how intense this could be, I'll give you a tamer example. As a pre-teen, I once mention offhandedly that I liked watching Daktari reruns and got a story about a young woman who was cannibalized on a trip to Africa in return.

School was no better. Current Events, World Cultures, Criminology, Sociology, Spanish, Physical Education. We were learning about sexual harassment, and sexism, and seeing it actively demonstrated. Discussing it was good, but frustrating. There was very little that we, as high school students could do about the anecdotes we were hearing. For me, there was something very freeing about reading JLA. My sister complained that Wonder Woman didn't have enough panel time, was drawn as a doe-eyed innocent, and wore a ridiculous costume. But there was no denying the power she showed when she did show up. Zauriel stopped to start at her butt, Hitman made the x-ray vision joke, but as I was seeing, every male on that team still respected her when she did show up. No one dismissed anything she said.



I kept reading, though I spouted off about the same things my sister did. Despite starting out as a mouse, I somehow gained a reputation as the most fierce feminist in my school. Got into more than a few fights. When the "What mutant power would you have?" game came up in the geeky circles I ran in, I was usually assigned super-strength or some other physical power.

Time went on, I still read. I still heard horror stories, to the point that the only school I applied for was an all-girls liberal studies school. At the last minute, economic necessity, my father's example (he's a policeman), and the idealism gleaned from comic books won over. I signed up for the military. Everyone was in complete shock at this news. I plunged myself into the most masculine, traditionalist atmosphere available.

After Basic, I was a mouse. I couldn't act the way I did in high school and still get away with it. And adult can't hit another adult without legal reprisals, especially in the military. I wasn't a skilled debater, I often found myself backed into a corner during an argument so just stayed out of the controversal stuff. Having been already inclined to modesty (somewhere growing up I picked up the idea that it was a virtue), and now inclined to following orders, I withdrew for a few years. I generally followed the lead of stronger men and women. I had a friend at my first duty station, Liz, who had a great effect on me. She was a country bumpkin type. Too level-headed to get backed into an argumentative corner. She had no need to be violent, and was sexually active without worrying. I spent a lot of time around her at first, and after a while broke away. I latched onto a few more people, and clung to security blanket of military equal opportunity. I didn't experience or notice any problems on the job due to my gender, but I wasn't willing to explore the actual opinions of the men around me. I didn't want to have to argue around it. I dind't get my confidence or backbone back until I learned to discuss these things openly without getting upset, and without getting talked into a corner. This took years and after I got past that, I even found mice following me like I followed Liz. Through all that, of course, I still read.



And through all of that, even now, I still encounter those little moments. Little offhand comments, looks, and overall attitudes. Mostly off the job. Things not really worth getting into, and certainly not worth hitting someone or getting into trouble over, but annoying things nonetheless. I like the quiet moments, when I can take someone aside and discuss it. Sometimes I misinterpreted it, sometimes they didn't realize just how stupid they were being. Sometimes, I'm up against a brick wall. I'd love to punch through it, but this is the real world and there are ways of dealing with problems (long way, involving months of paperwork) that are acceptable.

Some days, you just feel like hitting something. Super-strength and invulnerability would be nice. So would a secret identity. I'd love to be able to take the jerks of the world to task immediately instead of waiting out the system. I want to act like a superhero. I want to talk, dress, and look like a superhero. I want to hit the guy who deserves it. I want to wear what I like and still be taken seriously. I want to say cheesy things like "I can't take time out for a social life, Steve Trevor, until the world is safe from crime!"

I want to get my own damned cat out of the tree.

I see the feminine appeal of Power Girl. Here is a woman so formidable that she can walk around with a hole in her shirt and not worry about attracting unwanted attention. She shows up on the scene, and her colleagues say "Great! A heavy hitter!" She can apply my methods of problem solving, but she can also deal with these problems in a way not possible for any law abiding citizen. JSA #39 was pure fun, simply because I'd had the exact same fantasy years before, sitting in Sociology class and watching a Lifetime-style movie about how difficult it was to prosecute a stalker.



My tastes are matured, yes. I like some depth in a story, I chase symbolism, I'm interested in character interaction and wild plots and entertaining dialogue. Just watching a woman beat up a guy is not enough to make me like a book anymore, I generally want something more. But every once in a while, I still want my Adolescent Power Fantasy. Especially when I see sexism brought up by the characters in the story. If a female character has to deal with a jerk, then I want to see her deal with him in the most harsh way possible. The way I can only dream of dealing with him.

Which brings me to what I'd originally intended this essay to be about -- Witchblade #91 disappointed me. I was in the business of giving Ron Marz the benfit of the doubt. On the second read, I'd enjoyed his Green Lantern stuff, but was still iffy about his handling of female characters, so out of curiosity I picked up issues 89 to 92. Sara Pezzini sounds a little like Kyle Rayner in the narration, which is good actually. I liked Kyle's narration. And he follows through on his rules about supporting cast members getting pounded regardless of gender (Poor Gleason). And, for the first time, the main character of Witchblade came across like a three-dimensional person. But the plot let me down.

A federal agent is introduced who comes onto Sara. Now, right away, he's showing the narrative signs of evil (the writer was using sexual harassment as dramatic shorthand for Jerk) so I know he's not actually there as a sleezy disappointing love interest. He's there to get beat up. Yay! And he does get beat up, in issue 91, proving that the writer understood that a sexist bastard introduced in the first act must have his ass handed to him in the third. What Mr. Marz missed, of course, was that if the offended female character is the main character, then she is the only one with the right to beat up the offender. Here, a guest star did it. Sara never got a chance to touch him. Hell, neither did her partner Gleason and he said some things to him that really deserved a punch in the mouth.



Now, this is just Marz's style of writing. I've seen him do this with Kyle several times, too, and it didn't really bother me because the subject matter was different. In a standard superhero comic, you are going to have stories where the main character doesn't personally solve every problem. I probably would have liked it in this story, were it not for the fact that sexual harassment against Sara was being used to characterize the guy. She had been hit on several times by this guy, and he even grabbed her wrist with his creepy hand. She didn't like him, he was sleezy and pushy. She reacted like a most woman in that position, she glossed over it and tried to get on with her job. He would leave soon anyway. I've seen this happen, I've heard of it happening to friends. This is a problem not far from my mind, or really the mind of most working women. We're not superheroes like Sara, though. We don't have a powerful mystical artifact like Sara does, and so we have to work through our problems in a rational, nonviolent way. But in situations like this, you do feel like hitting someone. It would have been undescribably satisfying to be able to vicariously kick this guy's ass through Sara.

Thankfully, Birds of Prey was next on the pile that week.

Darkseid

I have to admit, I never saw Darkseid as the terrifying figure Jack Kirby wanted us to. It's probably because I was introduced to him during the Morrison JLA run. That was during his downhill slide. Over a period of perhaps a decade, the Wicked Ruler of Apokolips went from a cosmic-level, plotting, looming threat to Superman's weekly punching bag. And so, once I did get my hands on a Kirby collection, I had sincere difficulty appreciating the majesty and terror of Darkseid.

Today, flipping through a long-abandoned 80 Page Giant, I am reminded of the fear and revulsion that this villain can inspire. I turned the page, and looked in the top lefthand corner of the book. My eyes were under attack! Such intense imagery entered through my sense of sight and invaded my other perceptions. I had to slam the book down, and turn away from this unspeakable fight. My friends, it was awful. This panel will haunt my nightmares until the day I die. I will never be able to see Darkseid as the featured villain without being reminded of these moments of terror.

And now, I will share with you, gentle readers, the single most hideous sight ever seen amidst the firepits of Apokolips.

Be aware that once seen, this sight can not be unseen.

The Horror...

What Evil Lurks in the Heart of Ragnell?

(Disclaimer: I am beyond hope. Do not try this at home. For a more healthy way to deal with your negativity, try this advice.)

You find the damnedest things browsing Internet for When Fangirls Attack links.

Read on...

Today, searching for posts on women in the JSA, I ran across a blog about Wonder Woman.

Well, rather, it was a blog for posting pictures of people dressed as Wonder Woman.

Normally, when I run across this sort of site, I don't find any topical posts so it's not really worth my time. But here, at the very top, was an in-depth post about Wolverine. I don't read much Marvel, and the writer was verbose, so I just skimmed past it. I figured I'd find something relevant in the earlier posts.

There was a Donna Troy post that initially looked promising, until I scrolled down and saw a series of pictures of some woman taking off a Wonder Woman costume, piece by piece. Yeah, I thought to myself, That'll go over real well on WFA.

So I scrolled down further, and found a decent post on the origin of Wonder Woman and its feminist aspects. (Albeit, a erroneous one at some points. The writer labored under the delusion that being the JSA Secretary meant that Diana made coffee, got donuts and answered the phones. If this was true when she first joined, there's no indication by the time I started reading -- I have 1, 8, and 9 of the All-Star Archives. From what I saw, it meant she was an officer who took notes at the meetings, answered letters, and monitored the local papers for pertinant events. She took full part in adventures. But I digress.) I linked to that post.

Chris AIMed me to ask what's going on, so I linked him to the site and told him what I was doing.

Chris is a bloodhound.

Chris found Morrison-hating in 4.5 seconds.

There it was in... blue and lighter blue, a light jab at the Great Morrison.

I read on. It turned into a few paragraphs of pure, unconcentrated hatred.

I don't know why I was angry and shocked about it. I mean, people are entitled to not enjoy a Morrison book. Hell, one of my favorite bloggers subtly slammed the man for months before the awful truth was revealed. A few shy dissenters (of the All-Star Superman love that was currently permeating the community) even came out on his thread. Everyone was okay with it. The next day, he posted a panel of Hal Jordan getting hit on the head, all was forgiven and there was peace in the Blogiverse.

But this man, for whatever reason -- perhaps because of the Wonder Woman stripper, or lack of even the most basic knowledge of Robert's Rules of Order, or because he just wasn't as funny, or just because he was a professed Marvel Zombie and therefore had no taste -- could not be excused.

Somehow, Kalinara informs me, I've gotten the reputation of a serious feminist (or, well, as a serious as a feminist can get and still post pictures of Kyle Rayner's butt) in our little corner of the internet. Possibly because of WFA. In truth, I started that because I like to watch people argue. (I have the Feminist_Rage community friended on livejournal because of this. It's truly equisite arguing there, actually, as very rarely does anyone lose their temper in the comments, but every thread starts with an incredibly pissed off rant and there are numerous ways to offend any member) But I digress. The point is, I am not actually a nice person in any way, shape, or manner. I'm a troublemaker. On the D&D test I score Chaotic Neutral or Chaotic Evil depending on the day. It's not unusual for me to encourage a conflict to continue beyond its natural resolution, and it's not unusual for me to start one (between two other parties). When I'm being a peacemaker, it's normally because the fight isn't fun to watch anymore.

Because of this blemish on my soul, I felt an intense need to make his life uncomfortable somehow. I wanted to shower on his name with dishonor. I wanted to see him taken apart, piece by piece, psychoanalyzed, and thrown to the masses wearing his carefully obfuscated insecurities around his neck!

I was determined that I would read through the entire Donna Troy post and find a reason to link it on WFA. (In the interest of fairness, here's the post in question)

Anyway, I read through that entire post in detail and let me tell you that was tough. I suspect he added the pictures of the girl stripping to distract readers from the insanity he was actually spouting. A short way into the post, he confesses his love of Marvel over DC. Which is acceptable in the case of charming and intelligent bloggers, but as this person was neither charming nor intelligent, it was a strike against him.

Right from there, he goes into why he hates Morrison. It seems to boil down to either his handling of the Joker
or the Weapon X retcon. Maybe because after Morrison's revamp of X-Men he finds it harder to relate to mutants, being that Morrison validated the vaunted civil rights metaphor by treating them as a (mostly) harmless minority with their own separate culture, and not just a bunch of wierd, unpopular kids who looked strange but hid great and destructive power underneath their freakish facades (which we all know is the true appeal of X-Men), I'm still not sure, as again, I was distracted by the dripping poison of writing.

As the stripper unzipped (since when the hell does the front of Wonder Woman's costume have a zipper? Isn't that a gilded breastplate and a mystical girdle?) her bustier, he finally got back to Donna. He doesn't have much to say, so he intersperses it with covers until he gets into details about why he hates kid sidekicks.

Then he quotes Dr. Wertham.

Allow me to repeat that, he quotes Dr. Wertham.

I had to read through his explanation of why he likes Fred Wertham twice. It is reasonable to give a villified man a second glance, and the benefit of the doubt, so maybe he was on to something. After I read through the entire thing, I reread the most controversial part. This guy wasn't on to anything. His was the sort of explanation that sounds reasonable when you read through it too fast. But once you slow down, look at some of the more unsettling comments (such as how he doesn't feel its homophobic to believe that Batman turned young boys gay), and realize it's being followed by a topless Wonder Woman fondling her own breasts, he loses some of his credibility.

Then he gets back to Wonder Girl. You can tell, because he starts posting covers again. It's not long before he starts bitching about Crisis on Infinite Earths and how the Multiverse confused him too much. Meanwhile, the stripper moons us and it's back to Donna and the explanation of John Byrne's retcon.

Nothing that could justify a link to When Fangirls Attack.

It was the most fucked-up thing I think I've ever seen on the Internerd. I ran through a mental list of places I could send this link to for a proper dissection and mocking. I understand that the moderators of the Gentle Scent of Pee in Your Longbox welcome fodder like this, so I was tempted to send it to them. I'm sure there's a number of Donna Troy fansites and Titans/Wonder Woman enthusiast message boards that would be interested in his opinion. On the other hand, Grant Morrison's following is loyal, rabid, and contains some of the most intelligent and stubborn members of the species. I considered the fun a forum like Barbelith Underground would have at his expense (Fortunately, a fine upstanding community like that would have nothing to do with an person such as myself). Worst of all, I considered feeding him to Twisty Faster for digestion at I Blame the Patriarchy, I'm sure her readers would have a lot to say about the stripper (but it would doubtless be painful to read the radical feminist opinion of Wonder Woman and our beloved hobby).

After making my way through The Insanity, Chris and Kalinara talked me down from the edge of Chaotic Evil, and I decided to write a post exploring my reaction to The Most Fucked-Up Post on the Internet.

Which became harder and harder to do without describing the original post.

I've realized, writing this post, that what I really, really, really wanted was first crack at him. In fact, I did a Technorati search looking to see if anyone had gotten at him first. No one had.

If you are reading this, it means I've given into the darkest part of me. The post in question was a labor of love. The writer slaved long, hard hours putting it together. He agonized over every word and picture for the maximum effect. I'm sure he looked back after posting it with pride and a sense of accomplishment. He felt he was giving something worthwhile to the internet. He's a living, breathing human being with thoughts and feelings and a right to express his opinion in whatever manner he sees fit!

And here I am, the Evil, Two-Faced, Sneaky Bitch, plotting to ruin his sense of self-worth. He's opened himself to the world, and I'm targetting him from my own Fortress of Blogitude, surrounded by a crowd that I am confident will feel the same as I do. I'm actively marring his efforts, belittling his manhood, and calling the negative attention of intruders to his safe, private space for sharing his dreams, emotions and ideas. And then I'm planning to email his link to others who would mock and degrade him for their own judgmental amusement. Don't I know that imbeciles have feelings too? Shouldn't I nuture and encourage him like a good woman? Coddle his moronic opinions in the name of free speech and diversity? Indulge his unrepentant snobbery? Acknowledge his right to pass himself off as an intellectual as he spouts his hateful nonsense about my favorite writers and objectifies my gender without taking a few good jabs at him myself?

I should be ashamed of myself! I'm not doing this to be constructive, or help, or add anything worthwhile to the community. I'm picking on a harmless idiot! I'm a bully. I'm secure from the safe perch of a blogger who holds the same opinion as the vocal majority. Would I be wallowing in my own darkness like a warthog in dead squirrel guts if I was not confident of the popular opinion? I should be guilt-wracked for such insidious, cowardly behavior. Don't I feel bad about subjecting another human being to treatment which would, in all likelihood, make me cry?

Why, no, actually, I feel kind of warm and fuzzy inside.

I'm going to go hug a kitten now.

I call her "Betsy"

Because of the comments for my last Manhunter post, I was able to get a real good chuckle out of this panel.

Kate's staff, the most phallic symbol of aggressive weaponry in the series, is described as female by Dylan.

How could you not love Dylan?

LT of "I Read Comics"

The other day, I received an e-mail from a lady who found When Fangirls Attack. She gave me a few compliments, and told me she was planning to plug it on her podcast. So, naturally, I went to her site and this was the first thing I saw.

It was nice to see I wasn't the only one to notice this.

(Oh, and the podcast is interesting, too. She links here whenever she does one)

Thoughts

I only read JSA #83 and Detective Comics #817. I probably would have picked up more, but all of the back issues of Manhunter that I'd asked for came in from their other store, and so did the issues of Batman and the Monster Men.

(Spoilers for JSA #83, Detective Comics #817, and Jonah Hex #4 follow)

Read on.

Detective Comics was really enjoyable. James Robinson's primary assignment seems like a return to the status quo of Batman. And by status quo, I mean a recognizable Batverse from people who know it by the movie, the cartoon, or just common pop culture knowledge. I'm actually very happy about that. Mainly this is because of Page 5 (Page 6 counting ads). Page 5 saw the return of one of my favorite Batman characters to the regular recurring cast. Someone I've been waiting anxiously to come back since the "Officer Down" storyline. When I saw his fat, unshaven, cigar smoking face I had to put the book down so I could dance my "Harvey's back!" dance. Then the little old lady downstairs pounded on her ceiling and yelled, and I had to sit back down and read quietly again.

Despite opening with a murder, it was definitely a brighter, lighter Batman than we've seen in a while.

JSA had equally dark subject matter, but the tone was also lighter than the book had been for years. I'm happy to see Power Girl, Terrific, Courtney, and Jay alive. The absence of Sand is notable and worrisome. The continued absence of Atom-Smasher is a joy. I was happy with Alan. When Jennie died, the expectation was that Alan would grieve but get on with his life, and her brother Todd would have a meltdown. Well, in the Manhunter preview art he looks perfectly well adjusted an cheerful. And decidedly not evil. Alan, on the other hand, attributes his seeing a ghost to PTSD, and references how off-center he's been since his daughter died. Credits Jay with keeping him sane. Anyone else who thinks Alan's going to get worse before he gets better, raise your hand.

Anyway, I had trouble enjoying this issue because of Dr. Mid-Nite. Pieter Cross is on my list of favorites, you understand. I went out of my way to get Batman and the Monster Men (after ignoring it) because someone likened it to the 1999 Dr. Midnite miniseries that brought us Pieter. (I think it was Chris but I'm not sure)

Anyway, firstly, what was Pieter doing in Gotham? Are they going to station him there now? I mean, I know he's not in an ongoing, but Portsmouth was set up well enough to support it. And he did have a likeable supporting cast, headed by Camilla. Johns even showed us glimpses from time to time.

Secondly, if Pieter's going to see ghosts that accuse him of killing them, why not the person he actually killed when he got his powers? Why not his mother? Why these nameless, lost patients that he didn't personally know?

Then there's his behavior. I think he panicked too much when he lost his goggles, but that could be just me. It just didn't feel like Pieter.

What really bugs me, though, is this panel. It not only implies that Pieter doesn't believe in the afterlife now, but that he never did.

Which directly contrasts previous characterization.

This annoys me. The characterization was put in place, I think, to differentiate him from Mr Terrific. Terrific, for most intents and purposes, has the same surface personality. You need to get seriously into the characterization to tell the two apart, and this was one of the big differences.



It was a little off-putting to have one of my favorite character show up so... off.

Aside from that, I got Jonah Hex #5 but haven't opened it yet. Possibly because I didn't read Jonah Hex #4 until Tuesday night. I was impressed. You've all heard my complaints about Spider-Man/Black Cat #6 and it's unfortunate plot device. Well, here it is again and it works quite well.
Jonah Hex is hired by a father to bring in the young man who sexually assaulted his daughter. When Jonah does bring him to town, the daughter, who's mute, hits him. Later on, she passes him a note saying that the young man didn't do the crime, and that she'd helped him escape. Jonah spends the issue trying to save the wrongfully accused young man, while the girl takes care of herself and ends up saving them both. In the end, when she communicates what happened very clearly, no one but the culprit challenges her story. I even noticed that in one panel where the townspeople are asking him where his explanation is (in the clear mood they won't believe it), the more prominent extra was even female. It made me think of David Welsh's complaints about victims never getting conventional justice. Mayleen got conventional justice, Western-style justice, but still, it was conventional and it relied entirely on her testimony. I wonder what he thought of this issue.

I don't think I can form a coherent review of Green Lantern Corps: Recharge #5 of Infinite Crisis #5 right now, but I was very pleased with both. I'd tell you about Manhunter as I now have the entire series, but I'm not finished reading. You see, some unscrupulous person (I suspect the cat) has move issue #9. I could have sworn I had it when I left the .

I haven't read Batman and the Monster Men either. The owner of the LCS tracked down a copy of issue one for me, and it was a copy signed by Matt Wagner. 'm not much of a collector, but there's something intimidating about a signed copy. Especially when it's one with a certificate on the back of the board, with a scary looking silver seal holding the bag together. Chris assures me it won't hurt it, it's meant to be read, but it's still intimidating. I'll get past this eventually, I'm sure, but as it is I'm afraid to open it. It's the seal, I think.

Maybe this weekend I'll get a bout of bravery. Then I'll talk about it.