Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Warning: Wickedness Ahead

This is a post in which I may alienate many of my readers (and completely win over the rest).

But I promised earlier.

And it needs to be said.

Submitted for your approval:
Kyle Rayner's Butt

Now, the virtues of Kyle Rayner's butt have been well-established by this point.

It has been stated outright in Green Lantern, Volume 3 that he has a nice butt.

This butt has gotten ample coverage during Kyle's appearances.

Artists go out of their way to showcase Kyle's hindquarters.

The boy is often seen doing Olympic-level Gymnastics in mid-air to show both his backside and frontside.

But this goes well beyond Kyle's admirable arse.

Note the above picture. Four JLA members leaping into action. One side-view, in an airplane. Two frontal view poses. And one guy twisted out of shape so that somehow we see his butt and his face at the same time.

Even Aliens are not safe from this wanton portrayal.

Lacking any humans, the artist has no hesitation in using Kilowog for Cheesecake.

And Abin Sur, once dignified! How they've lowered you for their base amusement!

Please note what constitutes a Green Lantern Group Photo in Silver Age.

They even made a point of covering the extraneous parts there.

But where did this phenomenon begin? How long have Green Lantern comics been obsessed with a single body part?

Well, I looked as far back as Showcase #22 and there it is, plain as day:

Hal Jordan's Classic Silver Age Ass

And if once wasn't enough...

Guess they thought it was too blurry.

I was going to stop there, because Alan Scott has a cape.

You'd think that would have saved him.

But no.

His cape is vertical throughout the entire Silver Age Team-Up story.

But that's the Silver Age, the early appearances were more dignified, right?


So, there you have it. A tradition dating back to All-Star Comics #3.

Green Lantern Butts.


  1. I am aghast! Horrified! Revolted!

    You have thus alienated me, woman!

    *is about to stomp off but is instead mesmerized by all the Lantern-buttshots.*

  2. Being a male, I've never bothered to take note of Green Lantern's butt shots. You have provided valuable insight.

    The great GIL KANE seemed to throw in at least one butt shot of every male and female hero in every comic he drew. He was a master of anatomy, and I guess it just made the heroes seem moire heroic since they could twist their bodies into unnatural (and unnecessary) poses while fighting bad guys. I seem to recall an issue where Hal Jordan fought Star Sapphire (?), who balanced out the issue with many shots of her butt. And I've noticed that the female Lanterns get to strut their stuff from time to time.

    "So, there you have it. A tradition dating back to All-Star Comics #3." ... Wow ... I guess these young comic artists have SOME respect for the Golden Age greats. If it involves butts.

  3. There's a simple explanation for this.

    Green Lanterns are all about the willpower and "no fear", yes?

    And what better way to communicate "I'm not afraid of this horrific tentacled beast (or whatever)" that by showing said tentacled beast (or whatever) your Captain's Quarters?

    Green Lanterns: Shoving Their Asses In The Face Of Evil Since 1941.

  4. "In brightest day, in blackest night ...
    "Let those who worship evil's might beware THIS ..."

    Or ...

    "Kiss my blackest night ..."

    "Stick it where the brightest day don't shine ..."

  5. Well! That certainly gets MY approval!

  6. Now in rebuttal I'll be forced to find Johnny Blaze ass shots.

  7. There's no denying it, the man's butt is definitely blog-worthy.

  8. *shudders and walks way glancing around*

  9. Hey, why do you think Kyle remained so popular, despite all the negativity that came from Hal fans over the years.

    You can berate the character and his origins, but one you see his arse you just know he was menat for greatness. ;)

    In fact, that might explian why Jade cheated on Kyle. His butt wasn't around to keep her mesmerized to being with him. And notice that Donna Troy, even after having lost her memories with him, still couldn't keep away (see: GL (Vol.2) #118). This actually explains a lot, now that i think about it....

  10. I just love how posts like this get more comments than stuff like my musings on Persephone. :)

    (I spent more time on this one too!)

  11. Green Lanterns: Shoving Their Asses In The Face Of Evil Since 1941.

    I am SOOO ganking that one....

  12. Sweet Jeebus. Am I looking at this? Am I looking at this?

    Maybe I should do a piece on Flash's Package. Heh... I said "Piece."

  13. Kyle butt makes me very happy.

    "Maybe I should do a piece on Flash's Package. Heh... I said "Piece.""

    By all means...

  14. (grin) You know, I thought I was the only one who'd noticed this. At one point it started to seem as if the whole Green Lantern concept had been bitten by Frank Frazetta or something -- so that be you ever so alien, if there was a butt to be turned toward the reader's POV, there it'd be.

    Well, I feel better now.

  15. Of course all Green Lanterns have nice asses. If you had to wear a costume that tight 24-7, you'd keep it in good condition too.

  16. From Showcase #22 (the first appearance of the Hal Jordan Green Lantern):

    Abin Sur:"Only seconds left to tell you...once you have the battery you will have power over everything--except what is yellow. Oh, and you will also have a righteous ass."