Reboot Madness! Everything Must Change!

Sure enough, right after I posted my concerns about the reboot the news went up about the next ten series that are getting rebooted. They seem very nonthreatening. I've already made some buy choices.

Of course, barring Dave Sim (and honestly, I think I'd pick that up just to see how fucked up it was) or Frank Miller I knew I'd be getting Wonder Woman. I had my fingers crossed for Grant Morrison, but DC handed the pen to someone else:

New York Times bestselling writer Brian Azzarello, author of The Joker and 100 Bullets, teams up with the immensely talented artist Cliff Chiang (Neil Young’s Greendale) for WONDER WOMAN #1, an exciting new series starring the DC Universe’s greatest superheroine. The cover to issue #1 is by Cliff Chiang.

Right away my heart sank. A lot of the big problems with Wonder Woman seem to derive from this ridiculous idea that she needs more of an edge. (I suppose being the personal enemy of the God of War and Violence himself just isn't impressive enough.) Brian Azzarello is known for 100 Bullets and just having the dark, edgy element to his stuff. No only that, bloodied sword on the cover.

But... Rucka was known for edgy street crime, and he was one of the best. The complaints I've heard about Azzarello's women seem to stem from bashing the supporting cast around, so a franchise like Wonder Woman that is purposefully gender-swapped might shake up his habits a little.

He's written Wonder Woman before in Superman #210-211, and David had some reassuring things to say about that. It's been a long time since I've read any of For Tomorrow (I only remember some heavy bondage with Kyle Rayner), but it's one of three Azzarello series on Comixology so as soon as I get my account straightened out I'll check the Wonder Woman parts out for myself. A couple people have recommended Doctor Thirteen so I've ordered that out of curiosity.

Not that not liking any of this will stop me from getting the next Wonder Woman origin retelling. I freaking love that story, and this is a character I usually give anyone a chance with.

Also, that is the best the pants have looked yet.

The other surprise I got was a Mr. Terrific solo series, just as I was worrying about the character's fate:

The world’s third-smartest man – and one of its most eligible bachelors – uses his brains and fists against science gone mad in MISTER TERRIFIC #1, the new series from writer Eric Wallace and artist Roger Robinson. The cover to issue #1 is by J.G. Jones.

Not familiar with the creative team, but I will be checking out the first issue unless someone drops something ridiculous in the lead-up interviews.

In the meantime, I'm relieved to see Johns leave the Flash:

Rising superstar Francis Manapul, fresh off his acclaimed run on THE FLASH with Geoff Johns, makes his comics writing debut in THE FLASH #1, sharing both scripting and art duties with Brian Buccellato. The Flash knows he can’t be everywhere at once, but what happens when he faces an all-new villain who can? The cover to issue #1 is by Francis Manapul and Brian Buccellato.

I'm unfamiliar with Bucellato but I'll definitely give Manapul's writing a shot for his art.



On the maybe pile I have JLI and Justice League. Johns and Lee are setting the stage for everything and Justice League used to be one of my staples, but I'm honestly getting tired of those creators. Lopresti on JLI is solid, and I like the lineup but I'm still deliberating on Jurgens. He's hit and miss for me.

In the meantime, Yan's keeping a list of books and creative teams as they get officially announced in case someone wants a scored.

Sweet Gods, I'm actually going to buy Wizard again!

Well, DC Comics tried very very hard to keep it under wraps, but someone leaked the February solicits two days early. (Spoilers ahead)
Now, for those of you who are behind the rest of the class, the 2006 February DC Comics Solicits are important because they are the last issues before the entire product line leaps forward for one year, with the exception, of course, of Infinite Crisis, because they are cocky enough to show us the results of the end of that storyline before actually showing us the end of that storyline.

They took it down but it was too late! Several specimens from the Online Message Board Sub-culture seized onto the news. And there was copying, and pasting, and oh yes, Panicking.

Much Panicking.

Because what should have said "Final Issue" (I'm looking in your direction, Supergirl) did not (Which doesn't necessarily mean that it's not ending, we'll see when the March solicits come out for sure). And two books that should certainly not have said "Final Issue" did.

And for the first time since I started reading comics, I will not be reading The Flash.

Because it's not even offered.

And those sneaky butts didn't even say "Final Issue" for January's solicits!

No, the title "Finish Line" didn't imply anything! How many times have those Rotten Bastiches promised us Superman would die! Or that This would be the End of Superman!

And how many times have they followed through?

Three!

Three Lousy Times! In over 60 years of publishing!

So naturally, when I see "The End" or "Dies" or "Finished" I tend not to believe it unless it actually contains the words "Final Issue."

They're just trying to scare us, that's all. They are just trying to scare us.

Wally will survive. Wally will most definitely survive. Killing another Flash is just way too obvious.

They can relaunch the series without replacing Wally.

Yes, they can.

And hey, they can replace Wally without killing him!

Yes, they can. They did it with Starman!

And Green Lantern!

Hell, they did it twice with Green Lantern!

Oh, wait...

Anyway, I'm not even mildly afraid for Wonder Woman. The entire DC Editorial staff doesn't have the collective cajones needed to off a character that big.

Well, Grant Morrison probably does. But they have him distracted with Seven Soldiers right now.

However, this and other news will be forcing me to pick up Wizard #171 while I am on vacation. In November. In the Land of Snow and Mountains. Visiting a place that is 30 minutes from the nearest comic book store in the Summer.

Yes, I am going to drive 30 minutes (realistically, though, it will be an hour for snow) to the middle of a city that hasn't seen progress since the Coal-Mining Era, from the middle of a valley that believes the Earth is Flat and there is a straight drop to Oblivion beyond the Pocono Mountain Ridge that surrounds them, to spend six entire dollars on a magazine, which will probably feature at least six pages on two-dimensional breasts.

But it will have a confirmed cancellation list from DC Comics.

The official announcement of the new Green Lantern artist (and perhaps some preview pages!)

And of course, the announcement of Ron Marz's new DC project. Now, nearly everyone knows I'm not much of a Ron Marz fan (No offense to the man, I've seen his posts online and he is the very personification of class -- and I hear he sings well too!) -- his writing has skill, but it's not really my cup of tea. But, hearing this announcement should lay to rest a rumor that plagues my thoughts.

Well, actually, several rumors which plague my thoughts:
1) That there will be an "Ion" series launched in March
2) That Kyle Rayner will be getting his own on-going series again
3) That Kyle will be internalizing his powers during Infinite Crisis and leaving the Green Lantern Corps
4) That Kyle will be fed up with the Guardians and leaving the Green Lantern Corps that he worked his ass off to restart
5) That Kyle will be taking the name "Ion" again, and possibly the powers
6) That Ron Marz will be writing for DC "a title that has never been seen before, starring a character that has"
7) That Ron Marz will be writing Kyle Rayner as Ion
8) That Kyle Rayner will be dying.

On the bright side, though, if this is true: It means Kyle lives. And, as I think Kyle Rayner was the best thing to ever come out of Ron Marz's head, I'll at least be buying the first storyline, to see if I like what's going on.

But, I hope Marz is playing with a different hero (or heroine -- Hey, maybe we'll get to see a male love interest die gruesomely! No, that wasn't a cheap shot. His record and his thoughts on killing off supporting characters is well-documented! I just think he should get a fair shake and a chance to stuff a man in a fridge to prove he's not a misogynist, okay? Okay, I just wanna see a male supporting character stuffed into an appliance to even the score. But Ron Marz is the man to do it!). Because I like how Gibbons and Johns are writing Kyle right now, and I want to see where they take him.

I'll find out a week from Wednesday.

Meanwhile, Midtown Comics has Green Lantern #5 on it's confirmed shipping list. Maybe we can finally see what Hal Jordan's been up to. And it should put to rest another rumor that has been plaguing the DC Comics Message boards this week.

On the Eve of the Metaplot

My hopes and predictions for during/after Infinite Crisis:

-- Taking Supergirl into outer space is a bad idea. Supergirl is evil.

-- Taking Alan Scott into outer space is a bad idea. Alan's source of energy is the same kind of magic used by all of the Guardians of the Universe's old magic enemies. Alan inadvertantly frees all of these old magic enemies, such as the Empire of Tears, from eons-long imprisionment, allowing fans to finally see modern stories about these guys and not just tantalizing references in old GLC Quarterlies.

-- Putting Guy Gardner and Kyle Rayner in command positions turns out to be a good idea.

-- Sardath's way of defeating Onimar Synn was a bad idea. Onimar Synn returns -- Seven Times as Big, Seven times as Yellow!

-- Power Girl becomes something very similar to Donna Troy.

-- Superman is holding Despero's consciousness.

-- There is also a crazy, evil, or both, Pre-Crisis version of Superman running amok.

-- The White Martians return, and become roving space villains. There will be many laughs from novice Green Lantern encounters with them "Telepathic shapeshifters with heat vision!? What whacked-out deity thought of that!?"

-- Johnny Sorrow returns.

-- Dark Seid will not return until after the OYG (One-year Gap).

-- Brainiac returns.

-- The Joker returns, in a very, very bad way at a very, very, bad time. Think No Man's Land bad.

-- Villains you didn't realize were gone return.

-- Villains you didn't realize existed return.

-- Heroes you didn't realize existed die. And for some unknown reason, you care!

-- Airwave, Larry Jordan, dies heroically, giving angst to cousin Hal.

-- Martian Manhunter dies.
- Without his emotional guidance, the next version of the JLA doesn't take, and the book is cancelled.

-- Captain Comet doesn't die, and becomes a recurring guest star in Green Lantern Corps.

-- None of the Earth Green Lanterns die, but scores of nameless alien Lanterns do.

-- Jay Garrick does not die.

-- Donna Troy does not die, but is never used as a love-interest again.

-- Pariah finally dies. And there will be much rejoicing.

-- Hawkman neither dies nor bathes.

-- Wally West does not die, but retires (maybe even conveniently loses his powers) to spend more time with the kids.

-- Either Connor Hawke (Green Arrow II) or Roy Harper (Arsenal) dies. I hope it is Arsenal.

-- Kyle Rayner does not die, remains active, but is unable to comfortably return to the metropolitan, or even global scale of heroics after becoming so used to the universal scale of policing.

-- Bart Allen becomes the new Flash.

-- Barry Allen shows up through time-travel, and nearly gets killed before (but also after) his appointed time to be killed.

-- Todd Rice (Obsidian, son of Alan Scott the Golden Age Green Lantern) gets his powers back, much to his father's annoyance.

-- Wally West and Kyle Rayner work together for one last time.

-- Colu (Homeworld of the Brainiac bloodline) suffers a major population loss. The disaster that occurs here is blamed on Donna Troy, but actually perpetrated by Supergirl. The damage could be a lot worse, but Kyle Rayner and a new Green Lantern from Colu manage to contain it.

-- Kyle Rayner deliberately performs an act of mass destruction, again, and is rewarded by the Guardians of the Universe for it.

-- Guy Gardner gets to hurt a lot of bad guys. There will be much rejoicing.


-- Vril Dox II, Brainiac II, will be technically counted among Kyle's Rogue's Gallery, but never become an actual supervillain.

-- The Spectre's new host is not Jim Corrigan, but somebody else.

-- Sasha Bordeaux becomes the only OMAC. She is never used by anyone but Rucka.

-- We see a new Atom-style shrinking hero, that goes by the name "Ion"

-- The new Blue Beetle is Hispanic, and never before seen.

-- Lex Luthor is not only thwarted, but forced to help the heroes again.

-- Star Sapphie dies, and we see a new Star Sapphire.

-- Black Adam turns on the Secret Society of Supervillains.

-- Dr. Psycho is thrown out of the Secret Society of Supervillains. This is actually pretty impressive.

-- Nevertheless, the Secret Society of Supervillains remains intact, with a slightly altered roster.

-- Brother I is defeated by an all-female team led by Wonder Woman, and including Fire and Sasha Bordeaux

-- Every member of the Justice League who was punked by Deathstroke (and they ALL got punked) in Identity Crisis gets to lay a smackdown on him. The damage dealt, and the speed in which it is dealt would ideally be proportional to how badly the Leaguer was punked. Meaning Slade walks away without so much as a concussion from a fight with Green Arrow that last two issues, but is nearly killed (and left in traction for the entire one year break) by Kyle Rayner in just two panels.

-- All of the Big 3 are MIA during the OYG:
- Wonder Woman does not die, but is tapped to mediate peace talks between Rann and Thanagar. She goes into space for a year.
- Superman goes into forced exile in a) the Fortress of Solitude, b) the center of the Sun, or c) the Phantom Zone
- Batman leaves Gotham top find himself. He tours the world, again, as Bruce Wayne.

-- John Stewart is one of the featured characters in 52.

-- John Stewart is absent from the Green Lantern ongoing due to his having inexplicably disappeared during the OYG (This will be explained in 52). Kyle Rayner, as one of the GLC troubleshooters, ends up staying on Earth for an extended period of time to help find him. This is why we've only heard of Guy Gardner as the star of the GLC ongoing, because Kyle is getting partnered with Hal for the next year.
- A year passes, and Hal Jordan still hasn't told his brother about what happened with Parallax. He is still reckless, repressed and in denial after the OYG. He is also still abnormally (for a Green Lantern) susceptible to mind control.
- Hector Hammond reaches in Kyle's brain and is unable to control him, but still manages to kick a few walls down.
- Geoff Johns and Dave Gibbons settle Mama Rayner's fate once and for all, because Johns can not bear to see loose plot threads. It will be very unpleasant.

---

Now for the good news -- An explanation for "Great Guardians!" that is funny, and affords Kyle a chance to flex his creative muscle. I just hope he writers this explanation into Recharge. It would be funny.

Fork in the Road (Comic Reviews for August 31)

I have come to a division in my path tonight. I can either clean my apartment or continue to fiddle around on the Internet. There are other choices, of course. I could play with my cat, but he is very busy staring into space. Either watching a ghost, or a bug. One would be as welcome as the other, I suppose. I could also sort my comic books, but that comes suspiciously close to cleaning. I could sleep, but I've found sleeping at 330 in the morning screws over my work schedule.

Blogging it is, then. I wonder if anyone will ever see this. I'm not normally this depressing, but there's melancholy music playing in the background. Maybe I need a little food. Low Blood Sugar is really depressing.

That's better, a little beef jerky and a switch from Simple Plan to Bruce Springsteen.

Might as well post the first comic reviews. There will be mild spoilers below.
NOTE: These reviews are specifically directed at my sister, because she has given up on Comic Books, and I want her to know what she's missing.

Week of August 31, 2005:

BPRD: The Black Flame #1
Roger's losing it. Big time. He was such a sweet, well-behaved homonculus before that Captain Zombie jerk got ahold of him. Now, he's gone from herbal man to wanna-be undead marine. Not cool.
On the other hand, it is always good to see Liz Sherman light up a bunch of amphibian demon-men.

Astro City: The Dark Age #3
That was it? That was the big crime of the Silver Agent? That? There's a little suspense at the end there, enough to get me to pick up the next book -- because I want to see what happened, but it's not like I can't wait to see what happens.
I am giving Buseik until the end of the actual story here, but so far I am deeply unimpressed. This Astro City's falling short of par.

Flash #225
This run was hard to top, but I think Johns ended it on a high note. It was what we predicted to happen, but he managed to make it entertaining and tie up a lot of loose plot threads. It was a very solid ending to a wonderful run.
I have to say that for Captain Boomerang II's mother, I was disappointed. I was sincerely hoping it would be Jenni Ognats. The lady they picked, I'm not ever sure how he got speed off of her. Oh well, Speed Force logic, I suppose. It's been screwy ever since Mark Waid created it. At least we have a Capt Boomerang who makes sense as a villain.
Also disappointed I didn't get to see Fiddler, Shade, and Thinker interact one last time in Johns' run, but that's what happens when you run out of time.
Oh, and Kimmy -- Piper is not evil. You can pick up Johns' trades in good conscience.

They are worth it for Professor Zoom! Finally! A fast villain that Wally can't just outrun!

Green Lantern #4
I was underwhelmed by the first 3 issues of this series. I think it was Geoff Johns workload that caused this, because no sooner than he drops the Flash than VOOM! Green Lantern lights on fire!
This issue was so much fun! Hal Jordan vs Kilowog -- In a mud pit! Hector Hammond: Pervert! Sonar in Chains! Blood and gore!

And Hal punches more people!

I love that.

The best part of Green Lantern: Rebirth was Hal hitting Batman (Oh, and Kyle not dying. I like Kyle, he needs to stick around!) I'd been waiting for that since the birth of the Batjerk personality in JLA: Tower of Babel. I think Hal should punch Batman again.

I think Hal should punch more people overall.

Write a whole one-shot about it. Hal Jordan Punches the DC Universe!
I can see it now! Batman! Supergirl! Wonder Girl! Batman! The Joker! Lex Luthor! Batman! Dark Seid! Lobo!
He just tours the whole DCU hitting people, until he gets to the JSA HQ -- where he swings at Alan Scott--
And finds his hand stopped in mid-air. "Hal, we have to talk."

That would be beautiful, just beautiful.

JLA: Classified #11
Ellis' Perry White in Issue #10 was the best portrayal of Perry White I've ever seen. A cross between Jameson from Marvel and Rourke from Transmet. So entertaining that I think Ellis should be contracted to just write the Daily Planet scenes in all of the Superman books.
That said, this issue was just blah. That's all, jsut blah. Nothing really happened, I was hoping for more Wonder Woman dialogue, what with her on the cover, but was sadly disappointed. I'll be picking up #12, though, in hopes of more Perry.

Seven Soldiers: Shining Knight #4
My first thought upon finishing this comic was "I'd like to have Grant Morrison's baby."
Then I realized that would make me fat.
Seriously, though, this Seven Soldiers thing is that good.
Morrison throws a plot twist in there that I, as a major fan of King Arthur stories, have seen at least once (I believe more than twice, though) before, and I never saw it coming. Bt it makes perfect sense, and totally redefines how you consider the characters.
I liked Justin before, but was iffy if I wanted this new Shining Knight to replace the Golden Ager -- as I am not an advocate of killing off characters that were created before my parents, and killing off the Golden Age Sir Justin was likely if they had a replacement. And I liked seeing Sir Justin in Stars and STRIPE. He was pretty cool.
But after this twist is revealed, I say kill him, or freeze him in ice again, or drop him in the timestream. Push him to the sidelines again, because Morrison's revamp is the Shining Knight I want to see around.
I want to see Sir Justin in Wonder Woman! Right now! Kill Cassie or Donna (again) if you need to make room, but do so post-haste!

Wonder Woman #220
Was depressing. I love what Rucka has done with her, he's defined Diana so incredibly well. This series has actually been fun for me for the first time in years. (Speaking of which, Kim -- I've got the first trade of Rucka's run for you, btw, and will be sending it to you with copies of all of the issues of Shining Knight as soon as I am awake when the post office is open).
A heavy issue was appropriate after what happened in Wonder Woman #219. And it was very good that, after Wonder Woman #219, Rucka had her running around not killing villains to establuish that she wasn't turning into Diana the Punisher. But this issue, and I think it was probably the art, did not carry the same energy as Rucka's others at all. Batman's reaction was disappointing (If you're collecting Batman sightings, don't bother, he's just in a couple panels -- but she's narrating to him through the entire story), but understandable. This was the least of his Batjerkiness this year.
I still advise reading it, because a poor Rucka-written issue of Wonder Woman is still better than any issue since George Perez left the book! This was just below Rucka's usual standard, and I think it's the somber art. Next issue, we are promised an OMAC tie-in, which much fighting and blood, so the energy and action should be back then.

I love Rucka's action-oriented Wonder Woman. I love what the whole DC line is doing with female characters. 2005 should be called "Year of the Woman" or something, because their females have kicked into high gear lately! I hate to say it, but it was certainly worth losing Sue to the Refrigerator to get a decisive Diana in this crossover. I will be supremely unhappy if they kill Diana ("I don’t give a damn ’bout my reputation") and replace her with Donna ("Who can turn the world the world on with her smile!").

New Avengers #9
Notable for a really neat scene with Emma Frost. Emma's inside Sentry's mind, trying to find his false memories. It's very cool to see her at work. I hope Joss Whedon isn't really turning her evil again, but I scanned Astonishing X-Men and sadly, it looks like it. It's a shame. She's a really good character, and I've loved her as a complex heroine since her Generation X days. I was very sad to see this, and couldn't buy Astonishing X-Men because of it.
Then I found this article that talks about her during Morrison's run. Now I'm angry. How is it just as DC is making its goody-goody women more of a presence in their universe that Marvel decides to make one of its most decisive females evil again? How screwed up is that? Especially after the Scarlet Witch debacle!
Plus, it worries me that the writer doing this is set up to direct Wonder Woman. I've got my fingers crossed, though.

Powers #12
Bendis is losing me, I'm afraid. Overexposure, maybe? Or he could jsut be overworked. This is one of the last Marvel titles on my pull list. They keep being replaced by DC stuff. Today, I was in the store and saw House of M #6 was out, but that the clerk forgot to pull it for me. I was reading ti for potential Quicksilver sightings, but I went "nahh..." and just left it on the shelf, in the middle of the crossover! Didn't even scan it.

Guess I'm getting over my completist issues. That's good for my wallet.

Supreme Power #18
JMS drops a bombshell that doesn't really get any reaction out of me. Compared to DC right now, this book isn't impressing me anymore. Won't be picking up the spin-off miniseries, or the relaunch.