Monday, August 20, 2007

Four Important Things All DC Fans Should Know

Since I'm already shooting my mouth off and possibly causing hurt feelings in my comments, let's go over some things here on the mainpage:

1) There is no pro-Hal conspiracy to kill/ruin Kyle Rayner. Kyle becoming Parallax just makes fucking sense from a narrative standpoint since that would be his (and the rest of the DCU's) greatest freaking fear since Kyle first found out what happened to Hal. This story had to happen, and it may as well happen now. If you are worried about how the writer feels about Kyle, reread Rebirth.

Since I've also seen this one theorized, Kyle Rayner is being moved to the Countdown books not to ruin Kyle, but to sucker his rabid fans into buying Countdown. (Seriously, check out today's solicits. See who is prominently featured on the cover of every Countdown tie-in they appear in? Kyle and Donna. Kyle and Donna. Kyle and Donna. They know why people would want to read this stuff, and its not the creative team or the storyline.) Its working for me, and I know its working on some of the rest of you too. If anything, this proves Kyle is safe because they need a character who can draw 40K readers into their crappy crossovers.

(Also, they finally gave him a good costume. Things are looking up!)

2) There was no plot to kill all of JLI and ruin everything Keith Giffen created. (If there was, why is Ice back?) That is why they joke about that at conventions. They are making fun of fans who think that.

3) There is no conspiracy to kill off Young Justice characters. Superboy's copyright was complicated. Bart wasn't selling (possibly because so many of his fans were boycotting DC over other matters, but I'm just guessing based on who I've seen complaining about what online). Secret and Arrowette were removed in the original series. Empress has a fucking stupid civilian name and will never be prominent again because her creator couldn't resist a stupid pun. Lil' Lobo was one of those jokes that was funny for one panel but got overused. (Like a lot of the jokes in Young Justice. I swear, that series was like the Saturday Night Live of superhero comics).

That team is down to two, but they'd be mad to get rid of Tim and I'm just not lucky enough to see Cassie die.

That series wasn't all it was cracked up to be anyway, take it from someone who was the age range of those heroes when they were created. It was good for a laugh, but in the end I remember preferring the big guns in the JLA or the grumpy old men in JSA than the heroes that were supposed to have been my generation's.

4) They actually do hate Kirby fans. Starlin was overjoyed to get to kill off the New Gods. Bastards.

(Or, y'know, that sort of joking around at a convention could be just them fucking with our conspiracy theories again like they consciously did leading up to Identity Crisis, GL: Rebirth, Infinite Crisis...etc...)


  1. 5. Batman can do anything, up to and including casting spells more powerful than Circe's, flying, and killing with the slightest touch. Why? Because he's Batman.

  2. I hope sooner or later Kyle can get back to his own book. I know DC won't kill him because it would just start a Rabid Kyle Rayner version of H.E.A.T., but I still think he deserves more than mini's and second fiddle to Jimmy Olsen in Countdown. Who is exibiting some of the old Kirby zannyness...

  3. I'm obviously out of the loop, because I hadn't heard anything specific about the New Gods being killed off. It's a stupid idea. I hope they're smart enough to resist it.

  4. Young Justice as comicdom's SNL is, quite possibly, the best description of it I have ever heard. Tired jokes repeated ad infinitum? Check. Zealous fans who fail to realize how mediocre it is? Check. Waste of perfectly good ideas for the sake of said tired jokes? Check. I didn't enjoy it when it was out, but now, thanks to its fans, I absolutely hate it.

    And I'm convinced that every time someone mentions "Death of the New Gods", Jack Kirby starts spinning around in his grave fast enough to power the city of Los Angeles.

    ... Sorry, Jack.


  5. 1) There is no pro-Hal conspiracy to kill/ruin Kyle Rayner.

    2) There was no plot to kill all of JLI and ruin everything Keith Giffen created.

    3) There is no conspiracy to kill off Young Justice characters.

    This is just what THEY want you to think!

    Who are THEY? You may know them better as THEM!

    Ragnell, you are obviously a tool of the conspiracy. I denounce you! Now, everyone else remember that so-called "tin foil" does no good against their evil mind control rays - they replaced the ray-blocking tin with their alien starmetal "aluminium" years ago. So replace your "tin foil" hats with good, old fashioned lead and you'll all be fine.

    4) They actually do hate Kirby fans. Starlin was overjoyed to get to kill off the New Gods. Bastards.

    See, this proves it. EVERYONE knows that THEY don't hate Kirby fans - THEY hate the New Gods. With a blind red hot seething passion known only to those who have been subjected to a 24-hour David Schwimmer marathon. Some say it is because hidden in Kirby's New Gods work is a secret revealing the truth behind THEM. Others say its because Kirby embedded a secret religion in his New Gods work and if you assemble it in the correct order a new Bible will be revealed and the human race will ascend to a higher plane.

    And others say it's because Kirby created a black character on magic flying skiis and named him the "Black Racer". Personally, I find this implausible as an explanation for THEIR hatred. But that might just be what THEY want me to think!

  6. 2) There was no plot to kill all of JLI and ruin everything Keith Giffen created.

    Well sure. But there is no conspiracy to treat female characters like shit. It just happens. DC still did a good job of pissing over Giffen's league. They appear to be trying to make up for it though, what with books like the new Booster Gold.

  7. Well it was refreshing to hear the voice of reason. On the other hand, it does seem to suck to be a New Gods fan. Don't kill Barda or Scott! As for the rest of them however...meh.

    I do find Kyle's new outfit to be nice however. I like the collar.

  8. Yeah. If Barda and Scott are left alone..>I would not miss the rest of the crew.

  9. Thom -- Yeah, thing about that comparison is, whenever someone reacts saying "There's no conspiracy" we still get to point out that there's a huge system of societal sexism in place causing that to happen, and that people do things like that because of assumptions they were raised with. We also get to point out that this sort of crap is supporting a system of societal sexism that demoralizes people and shoves them into little boxes.

    Giffen's league was funny, but DC killing off characters that were basically given to the guy because they were the second- and third-stringers the writers were free to turn evil, main, or kill off is not the same thing as just about every company in comics falling back on the same shitty tropes, stereotypes and exploitation when it comes to an entire gender.

    So please don't make that comparison again, it does us all a disservice.

  10. Killing/maiming/turning evil of 2nd and 3rd tier characters is only a shitty trope if the characters are female?

  11. Why bother ruining Giffen's Justice League? I've been happily ignoring it for years, like the bad dream it was.

  12. This was brought on by Scans Daily, yeah? It's one of the things that really irks me about that community, that rampant paranoia.

  13. I have to admit, I'm not sure where the "Conspiracy against the JLI" thing even comes from. If you look at the big picture, the JLI seem no worse off than any other team. And most of the notable ones really do seem to be doing fine.

    Okay, Max Lord went cartoon villain, sure.

    But Huntress is doing fine in Birds of Prey.

    Fire is very prominently featured in Checkmate.

    Ice is back.

    Guy Gardner has been reinstated, has his own series and a position of prominence in the GLC.

    Booster Gold has a series.

    Power Girl is chairman of the JSA.

    Blue Beetle IS dead, but he's treated with a lot more respect now than he has in years, relegated as he was to the BoP backburner.

    Scott's nowhere to be seen last I checked, but Barda's in BoP. (And seems to be featured prominently in Death of the New Gods...I personally doubt she'll end up dead in it, title aside.)

    Sue's death was fairly ignoble, but Ralph got a lead role in 52 and probably the most emotionally impacted storyline, ending with a happy if ghostly reunion with his wife.

    Black Canary's chairman of the JLA.

    Captain Marvel's got a promotion.

    Martian a little batty at the moment, but seems to be building up to something neat in JLA or Countdown.

    Dr. Light, admittedly unseen, but she did get approached for OYL Birds of Prey AND is rumored to have some role in upcoming JLA.

    Batman's being treated like less of an ass in years. And Wally West is back from the dead.

    Oh and Diana's getting a new writer soon.

    ...I'm sure I've missed a few, but yeesh, they seem to be doing fairly well and seem to be playing fairly important roles in the current DCU. Can Zauriel or Aztek say the same?

    (And for the record, saying "There is no conspiracy" is not negating bad things have happened. And thus it's pretty stupid to try to use that to turn the whole "bad things happen to women" argument back on anyone. No one here's argued that there WAS a conspiracy against female characters. In contrast, the ridiculous conspiracy-against-the-JLI complaint IS made. A lot. And thus is worth refuting.

    It's fine to be pissed off at what happened to your favorites, but the conspiracy accusation just makes debatably legitimate complaints look foolish.)

  14. Lurker -- Way to oversimplify my statement. You know there's a serious difference there.

    Look at how Blue Beetle died and how Jade died. Who died having solved a crime and who was a "vessel" for her signifcant other's power?

    Compare Phantom Lady's death scene to Black Condor's. Someone died quickly in mid-air and the other lingered with her clothes torn off and asked a miserable, scared "Why?" of a supervillain.

    Stephanie Brown's to Jason Todd's. Who's costume went from loose-fitting to skin-tight? Who was drawn as if they were having an orgasm during their death? Who is now back to life?

    Hell, even when they go bad, does Max Lord going evil and damned near managing to take over the world seem nearly as fucking pathetic as Jean Loring arranging for a friend's death to get her ex-husband back?

    Tomar Re died during a battle in CoIE. Katma Tui died a few years later on the kitchen floor while her husband was at work, without ever getting to put up a fight.

    The shittiness is not in the characters dying/going evil/being maimed, but the how and why and how it conforms to a shitty societal standard for what men are allowed to do and what women are allowed to do.

    And guess what, even then its not a fucking conspiracy, but just a bunch of people who are used to thinking one way who need to learn to think another.

    I'm not going to tell you what to like or hate, or what to complain about, but I am going to tell you that these things are not equal in any way shape or form. One is a hell of a lot worse than the other because of its real-life reflection.

  15. Kelson -- That actually supports the idea they'd planned Wally's return.