Van Sciver remarked, “Kyle Rayner fans may not like us after June.”Its June 24th, and Sinestro Corps (supposedly) comes out on the 27th, so we only have a few days to guess at what he means. True, this is assuming that we can trust him (Hey, for all we know, Hal fans are the ones getting screwed over again), but some people are taking this as a fairly big clue as to Kyle's fate. The going rumor, of course, is still that Kyle will be taken over by Parallax. I'm sure there are some people reading this very post who are taking this as the only logical option.
But Ethan Van Sciver is not necessarily referring to that. There are numerous ways to screw over that character that do not involve creating Kyllax. Come to think of it, there are numerous perfectly harmless additions one can make to the character that will royally piss off his fanbase anyway. Anyone remember when Winick retconned him to Half-Hispanic? Kylefans had a collective shitfit. Given the nature of fandom, I don't doubt that there was racism involved in some objections. However, the retconning of his father from potentially evil government spook to superspy good guy in hiding was also involved, so I wouldn't say that's a definite reason someone would object.
Personally, I was more annoyed at the diversity cheat there. You think that fucking counts, Winick? He looks white. He has an Irish name. He was raised Irish. He doesn't even KNOW the other side of the family! YOU STILL OWE US A HISPANIC CHARACTER WINICK!!!
Anyway, there's a lot of stuff that Johns can do to piss off Kyle fans, and we have only until Wednesday to get our theories out there before Green Lantern fans get shifted to a completely different track of mind (mainly, how to get revenge for whatever they've done to our precious Kyle). So, without further ado (and with the assistance of Kalinara), I present...
1. Kyle is possessed by Parallax.
2. Kyle voluntarily hosts Parallax, figuring he can control him. He fucks this up big time.
3. Kyle loses his powers and is fired by the Guardians for it.
4. He returns as the new Star Sapphire.
5. Sinestro kills Kyle and stuffs him into Hal's refrigerator.
6. Kyle Rayner meets an alternate universe version of himself and gets involved in a relationship with her. They both die horribly at the hands of each other's enemies.
7. Kyle loses his powers and the use of his legs. He's a non-powered supporting cast member for the next ten years, then gets his powers back to become a twice a year guest star.
8. Kyle loses his powers and has to use a yellow ring. Within the next year he loses it, and discovers he has alien heritage and funky powers from that heritage.
9. Kyle gets kidnapped on the first page and taken out of the action until September.
10. Kyle's mom returns as Parallax. She becomes Ion after killing Kyle and sucking out his powers.
11. Kyle is not only 50% Irish, 50% Mexican, but he's part Kenyan, Australian, Cherokee, and Japanese. But he still looks white, so he gets panel time.
12. In their most thoughtful (sadly) attempt yet to appeal to female readers, DC brings us its newest retcon: Kyla Rayner.
13. Rather than retcon, Kyla Rayner is a plotline designed to appeal to transgendered fans.
14. Either way, she's getting married to Connor Hawke in October. There will be three special wedding issue tie-ins, and Superman jumps out of the cake again. Female readers are pissed because he's wearing all of his clothes again.
15. Kyle is de-aged to 15 and officially becomes the Kid Sidekick.
16. Kyle is ambushed by 6 of Hal's enemies. 3 of them back off, saying that Kyle's a child and not a Green Lantern, the other 3 attack with full force and kill him.
17. An announcement is made in the DC Nation column that Brad Meltzer will write a new miniseries: Kyle Rayner Gets His Ass Kicked Across the DCU.
18. Kyle sacrifices his power and his life to reignite the sun, and returns as the Spectre.
19. Kyle is out in the middle of a battle with Hal. He warns Hal to watch out, because the enemies are targetting him as the stranger one, but Hal doesn't heed his warning and a stray strike fries Kyle. In his last moments he bequeaths his powers to Hal.
20. Sinestro fakes Kyle's death to cover his capture. While Kyle is being tortured on Qward, Hal and Donna Troy start to date. This leads to a wedding in December, with three special one-shots, Superman jumping out of the cake, and Donna calls off the wedding because of a telepathic link with Kyle they'd never displayed before. Hal saves Kyle, who then goes into a coma for a few years. Upon waking from the coma, Kyle has brain damage and is unrecognizeable as a character. He dumps Donna.
21. Kyle gives up art to join the military.
22. Kyle discovers he has the ability to warp reality. After learning that the fat guy in Austin that Judd Winick wrote was merely a creation of that power and his unconcious desperate need to have a father figure, Kyle loses his mind and subtly attacks the JLA. He kills Oliver Queen (Nobody minds) and causes the Justice League to disband. Later, he remakes the world according to Hal's wishes, and when he's called on that he whispers "No more superheroes..." -- Okay, forget this one. Its just too mean.
23. It turns out that Kyle was secretly sent by his father (or some thing pretending to be his father) to kill Hal. This complicates things at the Oan water cooler.
24. Kyle is fired from the Green Lantern Corps for insubordination, but he wants to help Hal. So he takes some of Ganthet's plans and puts them into effect, starting an intergalactic war. He's captured by Amon Sur and tortured with a power drill. The entire scene is creepily sexy. He's brought to Oa for help afterwards, but Soranik lets him die for no good reason.
25. Kyle is found burned to death at the artist's retreat. An investigation proceeds, causing Hal to track down an old villain who raped Kyle but had his mind wiped in response. It turns out that this has nothing to do with the actual murder. Torah killed him for jealousy and used that flamethrower she carries around to cover her tracks.
26. Sinestro manages to steal Kyle's powers, but Hal rescues him and leaves him at his apartment while he tries to stop Sinestro's master plan. While he's gone, Carol gets possessed by Star Sapphire again. She goes to Hal's apartment to kill him, but finds Kyle instead and chops him to pieces in the kitchen.
27. Parallax possesses Kyle and forces him to fight the rest of the Corps. By the time he shakes him several lanterns are hurt, which causes great angst on the part of Kyle. He goes into seclusion into September, when he emerges to fight an alternate universe Hal who was never freed from Parallax. He's beaten to death during the battle, and doesn't manage to stop his enemy.
28. In the first few pages, Ganthet calls Kyle to Oa, takes him aside and says the words fandom will remember for decades: "Kyle, I am your father."
29. In the last few pages, Sinestro corners Kyle, and in the middle of the fight says the words fandom will remember for decades: "Kyle, I am your father."
30. In the last few pages, Sinestro corners Kyle, and in the middle of the fight says the words fandom will remember for decades: "Kyle, I am your mother. Its complicated."