Saturday, December 24, 2005

Guy Gardner is the Scariest Person in the DC Universe

I can picture the following exchange occurring in a future issue of Green Lantern Corps:

GUY: You see my friend back there? (Indicates Kyle Rayner, too far in the background to hear, and absorbed in the multi-colored mud of this world)

HAPLESS SPACE BADDIE: Yes. (Watches Kyle draw in the mud with his finger)

GUY: That is Kyle Rayner of Oa. The Most Revered Torchbearer of the Green Lantern Corps, Holy Savior of the Guardians of the Universe, and my partner.

HSB: (Looks at Kyle, who is now finger-painting a rock with colorful mud)

GUY: And I am the luckiest son of a bitch in the universe because he likes me, and the Guardians like him. In fact, they love him. No matter how weirdly he behaves, they reward him. They will do whatever they can to make him safe and happy. I keep him safe, and I am his closest friend. So punishing me for little indiscretions like destroying your ship, and killing you, would make him unhappy, and they know this.

HSB: (Nods, slowly comprehending the gravity of the situation)

GUY: In fact, I could blow up this entire star system and get away with it. Because they'd rather see all of you dead than him sad or lonely. Understand?

HSB: (Nods)

GUY: Now, let's get on with the negotiating here.


  1. Yep! Is greatest thing ever! Guy will be enjoying himself in the coming months, I bet.

  2. I actually like Guy when he's not being Guy.

    Like in FKATJL when ice dies agian.

  3. Guy's always being Guy. It's just that Guy's much more complicated than he seems at first glance. :-) Characters like Tora and Kyle tend to bring out his very rarely seen less abrasive qualities though.

    He has a few.

    Kyle even earned an apology once! :-) From Guy! An apology!

  4. Funny! "all of you dead rather than him sad or lonely!"

    I like when I wear my Green Lantern T and I get the kinship smiles from those who know what it is. And in Birds of Prey recently, Oracle was wearing a GL T. Excellent.

  5. I saw that panel, thought it was so cute. :)