Saturday, May 13, 2006

Tit-Check!!

Okay, this one required me to actually seek out the beast in his lair. Here is where I said it (I'm probably banned by now). Here is what I said:

Dear Mr. Larsen,

Your column almost changed my life.

You see, up until I read it, I'd been raised as a girl. I had pink baby clothes, wore my hair in pigtails, went to girl's gym class, and read those horrible Kimberly Clark pamphlets right before I started to bleed for 3-6 days each month and pick shirts based on how well my bra was concealed.

Then I read your column and realized that while all of that happened, I'd been collecting baseball cards and comic books right alongside my brother and other, older brother (the one that I mistakenly thought was my sister). I hadn't realized that that was how you actually told gender differences!!

I was on my way to change my driver's license, until it occured to me to do a Breast Exam (Or headlight-check, or jug-test, or can-scan, since you seem unaware of the proper names for parts of the female body). Yep, they were still there. I was a woman after all.

And that's when I realized I'd been unfair to you. I think I know your problem. You're just not recognizing all those female comic book readers as female!

So, Mr Larsen, I'd like to introduce you to some new (to you, at least) bra sizes. They are the D, C, B, and yes, the A-Cup sizes.

No, what you thought was an A was actually a DD.

No, I don't want to see what you thought a DD was.

Anyway, beyond A it gets tricky. Some women do not need bras. But, they are still technically women -- even if they are holding comic books. Now, it's normally considered bad manners to ask in this case, but I'm sure if you explained your problem tactfully enough you'll avoid offending her.

I hope you find this information of good use in the future,

Best Wishes,

Ragnell the Foul

8 comments:

  1. Definitely doesn't look like you're banned. Great jorb.

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  2. I hadn't seen the column, and the link to it keeps timing out on me, so I don't know what he said, but I love your response.

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  3. Well done!

    One of the hazards a columnist faces when answering critics is that he might create the appearance of cherrypicking which criticisms should be answered, and setting up an easily demolished straw-man argument while ignoring the real basis of the criticisms. This is why wiser columnists and pundits and opinion spouters say their piece and move on and don't try to justify themselves afterwards. Larsen instead walked off the edge of that cliff blindfolded.

    He started off by totally missing the point that the criticism of the latest version of the Phantom Lady wasn't that she's "attractive" but that she's hideous. Well, I guess your reply helps explain why he doesn't get that! And when he asked "Should all women in comics be plain or homely because some real women find attractive comic book characters threatening or offensive?" he crossed the line from being a (sometimes humorously misguided) defender of retrograde comic book values to being a misogynistic asshole. And now he's just digging himself deeper by claiming that those "real women" he was complaining about just don't like superhero comics anyway.

    I've actually enjoyed some of the columns he's written, and he's perfectly entitled to be wrong...but it's sad to see someone who doesn't know enough to quit when he's behind.

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  4. Remember what we were talkinga bout the other night, Ragnell?

    Remember what I said?

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  5. Larsen's columns are a whole lot of "tl;dr" crap to me. He's so... whiny. And doesn't write well. And likes complaining about how other people need to get hit by the clue stick when, from where I'm sitting at least, it's always him missing the point. -.-

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  6. Suddenly, you seem a lot more intimidating.

    ROCK ON!

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  7. Noooo, she's pretty much always been intimidating. It's part of her charm.

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  8. Sin -- I'm surprised

    Shelly -- Thanks

    RAB -- *nod* I feel sorry for him, when I'm not remembering what he actually said.

    Jenn -- He's part owner of Image Comics, the third-largest Comic-Book Publishing Company.

    Tek -- He's got zombies at his board who see it the other way, though.

    Lea and Hale -- :)

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