Monday, November 14, 2005

Sweet Gods, I'm actually going to buy Wizard again!

Well, DC Comics tried very very hard to keep it under wraps, but someone leaked the February solicits two days early. (Spoilers ahead)
Now, for those of you who are behind the rest of the class, the 2006 February DC Comics Solicits are important because they are the last issues before the entire product line leaps forward for one year, with the exception, of course, of Infinite Crisis, because they are cocky enough to show us the results of the end of that storyline before actually showing us the end of that storyline.

They took it down but it was too late! Several specimens from the Online Message Board Sub-culture seized onto the news. And there was copying, and pasting, and oh yes, Panicking.

Much Panicking.

Because what should have said "Final Issue" (I'm looking in your direction, Supergirl) did not (Which doesn't necessarily mean that it's not ending, we'll see when the March solicits come out for sure). And two books that should certainly not have said "Final Issue" did.

And for the first time since I started reading comics, I will not be reading The Flash.

Because it's not even offered.

And those sneaky butts didn't even say "Final Issue" for January's solicits!

No, the title "Finish Line" didn't imply anything! How many times have those Rotten Bastiches promised us Superman would die! Or that This would be the End of Superman!

And how many times have they followed through?

Three!

Three Lousy Times! In over 60 years of publishing!

So naturally, when I see "The End" or "Dies" or "Finished" I tend not to believe it unless it actually contains the words "Final Issue."

They're just trying to scare us, that's all. They are just trying to scare us.

Wally will survive. Wally will most definitely survive. Killing another Flash is just way too obvious.

They can relaunch the series without replacing Wally.

Yes, they can.

And hey, they can replace Wally without killing him!

Yes, they can. They did it with Starman!

And Green Lantern!

Hell, they did it twice with Green Lantern!

Oh, wait...

Anyway, I'm not even mildly afraid for Wonder Woman. The entire DC Editorial staff doesn't have the collective cajones needed to off a character that big.

Well, Grant Morrison probably does. But they have him distracted with Seven Soldiers right now.

However, this and other news will be forcing me to pick up Wizard #171 while I am on vacation. In November. In the Land of Snow and Mountains. Visiting a place that is 30 minutes from the nearest comic book store in the Summer.

Yes, I am going to drive 30 minutes (realistically, though, it will be an hour for snow) to the middle of a city that hasn't seen progress since the Coal-Mining Era, from the middle of a valley that believes the Earth is Flat and there is a straight drop to Oblivion beyond the Pocono Mountain Ridge that surrounds them, to spend six entire dollars on a magazine, which will probably feature at least six pages on two-dimensional breasts.

But it will have a confirmed cancellation list from DC Comics.

The official announcement of the new Green Lantern artist (and perhaps some preview pages!)

And of course, the announcement of Ron Marz's new DC project. Now, nearly everyone knows I'm not much of a Ron Marz fan (No offense to the man, I've seen his posts online and he is the very personification of class -- and I hear he sings well too!) -- his writing has skill, but it's not really my cup of tea. But, hearing this announcement should lay to rest a rumor that plagues my thoughts.

Well, actually, several rumors which plague my thoughts:
1) That there will be an "Ion" series launched in March
2) That Kyle Rayner will be getting his own on-going series again
3) That Kyle will be internalizing his powers during Infinite Crisis and leaving the Green Lantern Corps
4) That Kyle will be fed up with the Guardians and leaving the Green Lantern Corps that he worked his ass off to restart
5) That Kyle will be taking the name "Ion" again, and possibly the powers
6) That Ron Marz will be writing for DC "a title that has never been seen before, starring a character that has"
7) That Ron Marz will be writing Kyle Rayner as Ion
8) That Kyle Rayner will be dying.

On the bright side, though, if this is true: It means Kyle lives. And, as I think Kyle Rayner was the best thing to ever come out of Ron Marz's head, I'll at least be buying the first storyline, to see if I like what's going on.

But, I hope Marz is playing with a different hero (or heroine -- Hey, maybe we'll get to see a male love interest die gruesomely! No, that wasn't a cheap shot. His record and his thoughts on killing off supporting characters is well-documented! I just think he should get a fair shake and a chance to stuff a man in a fridge to prove he's not a misogynist, okay? Okay, I just wanna see a male supporting character stuffed into an appliance to even the score. But Ron Marz is the man to do it!). Because I like how Gibbons and Johns are writing Kyle right now, and I want to see where they take him.

I'll find out a week from Wednesday.

Meanwhile, Midtown Comics has Green Lantern #5 on it's confirmed shipping list. Maybe we can finally see what Hal Jordan's been up to. And it should put to rest another rumor that has been plaguing the DC Comics Message boards this week.

7 comments:

  1. So what books are getting cancelled? I missed the whole brouhaha, and now it's all been taken down...

    ReplyDelete
  2. R., You're a voice of calm in the midst of a roiling storm. To retain our sanity, I suppose we'll have to avoid the rumors, put away our fears, and try not to believe everything DC says until we've actually got the comic books in our hands. I have to admit, this has all been very well played by DC; they've certainly further stoked everyone's interest in what's going on.

    And, yes, though I feel like I'm in a locker room filled with 12 year old boys whenever I do it, I've been reading Wizard magazine recently in order to get strategic bits of information. The list of confirmed cancellations should, I'd guess, be worth the drive.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kelvin -- Officially, Gotham Knights, the Flash, Gotham Central, and Wonder Woman are getting cancelled.
    Hawkman will be become Hawkgirl with issue 50.

    melchior -- Wow, thanks. I don't get called calm often.

    But you're right, no need to panick about anything, especially given how carefully marketed this is. DC is feeding us misinformation at every turn.

    And I have to admit, it's fun trying to unravel the mystery.

    ReplyDelete
  4. My grandma's been re-upping my Wizard subscription pretty much against my will since I was, like, ten. It's funny to me that my idea of comedy has evolved while their's remains exactly what it was when I was in the fifth grade and thought that Sonya Blade punching Johnny Cage in the nuts was the height of hilarity.

    Anyway, if you can't get ahold of it, I'm reasonably sure I'll be gushing forth all manner of vitriol on it within a couple days of it coming out. Rest assured, Facedown in the Gutters is Your Source for Wizard rundowns. I read crap so you don't have to.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks, man. Even if I do find it, I think I'd enjoy reading your rundown anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Responses to rumors interspersed...

    Well, actually, several rumors which plague my thoughts:
    1) That there will be an "Ion" series launched in March


    I wouldn't count on this one. He'll be a part of the ongoing GLC book...if that gets off the ground. I hope it does. Too many good stories are lurking out there in the DC cosmos to be told.

    2) That Kyle Rayner will be getting his own on-going series again

    See above.

    3) That Kyle will be internalizing his powers during Infinite Crisis and leaving the Green Lantern Corps

    Again see above.

    4) That Kyle will be fed up with the Guardians and leaving the Green Lantern Corps that he worked his ass off to restart

    Don't see it happening. Look no further than the respect that he is being shown by the Guardians in the last issue of Recharge.

    5) That Kyle will be taking the name "Ion" again, and possibly the powers

    No. I hope not.

    6) That Ron Marz will be writing for DC "a title that has never been seen before, starring a character that has"

    I'm hoping that Ron Marz doesn't get his hands on Kyle again. I'd rather not have anyone else get stuffed in a refrigerator.

    7) That Ron Marz will be writing Kyle Rayner as Ion

    See above.

    8) That Kyle Rayner will be dying.

    There is a streaming video over on http://www.dccomics.com that has Johns and a couple of others talking about Green Lantern. They seemed awfully excited about Kyle being an ongoing part of the GL mythos and the GLC.

    puff

    ReplyDelete
  7. With all of that said...I like Kyle as a character.

    I just shudder at what Marz might do to him.

    puff

    ReplyDelete