Sunday, January 01, 2006

Secrets of the Sidebar: Group Four

Group Four: Symbolism, Soliloquoy, Sorrow, Subtlety, and Superheroes
  • Double Articulation -- As I said when I first linked to him, never before have I seen anyone who sees more symbolism in comics than I do. Wow. He doesn't update often, but when he does its impressive.
  • Ethan Watches You -- Scroll down to the dialogue below the icon of Jesus when you look here. Here is when the issue actually came out. Ethan Van Sciver has a sense of humor about this, and that is very cool.
  • Superheroes, Etc. -- I just read through a couple of posts and decided I like this person. Sometimes it's that simple.

Secrets of the Sidebar: Group Three

Group Three: Straight-jackets, Creative Cooking, Drainage, Carnage, Office Solutions, Insomnia, and the worst Travel Agency in the DC Universe!
  • The Comics Asylum -- James Meeley is thoughtful, polite individual that I never noticed until I found he had the same opinion I did on this issue of the Flash
  • Comics Ate My Brain -- This is one of the first blogs I ever visited. When I was first put on graveyard shift, I found myself up at odd hours when no one else was about. There was nothing to do. This led to websurfing. And so, searching for Green Lantern information, I found this, and this.
  • Facedown in the Gutters -- I started visiting this one back when Jon was doing his ongoing feature on character costumes, and I thought he had a charming way of naming his reviews every week, so I kept returning. This post is what cemented his link, however.
  • Filing Cabinet of the Damned -- I only knew Harvey from commenting on the Absorbascon, so when I ran across this link (from someone or another's site) I didn't realize until the end it was someone I'd bantered with the week before.
  • Of Course, Yeah! -- I'm a DC-centric reader, so I didn't really care to add Marvel-centric blogs for a while. This post changed my mind. It was followed immediately by this post which made me realize that Spencer had some taste afterall.
  • The Zeta-Beam -- The first post I read of this guy's, and he completely won me over. It also helps that he likes Buckaroo Banzai too. (Though I didn't see the 50-cent preview issue last week!)

Secrets of the Sidebar: Group Two

Group Two: Thanagarians, Subtext, Stuffed Animals and other Blogging Essentials
  • Seven Hells! -- A good sign I'm going to be linking to someone is when I find myself instantly start laughing at a post, without really realizing why.
  • The Absorbascon -- Scipio was the first person I linked to. Everybody links to Scipio, because he is that funny. This remains one of my favorite images ever.

Secrets of the Sidebar: Group One

Group One: Librarians, Lesbians, and other Ladies.
  • So So Silver Age -- People might think I don't like these ladies, because I constantly link to this post. In fact, they may even think I'm maliciously mocking them. I'm just teasing a bit, actually. The truth of the matter is, I link to it because it's just the sort of thing I might say myself, and I find it a pretty entertaining read (I also feel bad I never pointed out that Jade was a crappy character and that killing her can only help the representation of woman in comics in the comments there). So odds are, I will link to it again, and again. Sorry!
    I keep going back to the blog itself, however, because of stuff like this, which is a much better representation of the content.
  • Redhead Fangirl -- I am fascinated by her dislike of Power Girl, who is one of my favorite characters. This is when I decided to add her to the roll, though.
  • Dance of the Puppets -- I actually meant to add her to the blogroll earlier than I did. I'd assumed she was already there, as I'd bookmarked her around here, and constantly visited afterwards. Oops!
  • Comics Fairplay -- This woman may be responsible for my change of heart about Ron Marz. As I've stated before, my sister and I dropped Green Lantern after Jade got the crap beat out of her by Fatality and needed a last-minute rescue after a pitiful performance. We'd only been reading since Donna left, so we didn't see any other prominant female. It was around the time of the Refrigerator list, so, we drew a natural conclusion that Ron Marz couldn't write women, so we turned to enjoy Kyle in JLA, specials, and Green Lantern in back issues (in actuality, it was Marz who made me like Hal Jordan in Emerald Knights!). I didn't read it again until Winick's run (and my sister had to loan me her issues first!).
    Now, the well-reasoned points brought up here, only as recently as October, made me reread some of my old Green Lantern stuff and reevaluate Jade as a character. I then reread her appearances written by the other writers. I realized she was not out of character, and that I actually despised her even more than Heidi did. I also realized that, without going from the presumption that he didn't understand women, the rest of Marz's writing wasn't bad after all. His Alex was actually fairly impressive, his Donna was stomachable, his Maura Rayner was awesome. So, thanks to Comics Fairplay, I am not only willing to pick up Ion in 2006, but I'm actually looking forward to it.

Happy New Year!

(Yes, this is how I spent New Year's Eve. I am Ragnell the Foul, of the Night Shift. I do not get invited to parties.)

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Wonder Woman Should Be Tall


At work, there's a entryway on the airplane that I can't climb into without a hand up. I'm a decent height as women go, but I am just a couple inches too short to boost myself into it. Most of the men I work with get in there fine, so they can give me a hand up afterwards. This afternoon I was standing helplessly outside this entryway (as the staircase to the main cabin had not yet been set up) and contemplating Mallet's comment on the Wonder Woman/Green Lantern picture in my previous post when something occurred to me: Wonder Woman should never be in this situation.
(Yes, There's More)

And I don't mean because she can fly, or jump really high.

No, I mean because Wonder Woman should be tall. I don't care what the Secret Files profile pages say. She should be tall. Not "tall for a woman." I mean, outright tall. Divinely tall. Tall for anybody.

As I stated earlier, Wonder Woman radiates largeness.

This effect should be enhanced by her physical makeup, not despite it.

She should tower over other women, and most men.

Think about it.

What does she represent? Truth and Femininity. Perhaps even, the Truth of Femininity.

What did her creator intend originally? By nearly all accounts I've read, William Moulton Marston was a Female Supremicist who intended to show the best most outspoken parts of femininity through her, without shame or shyness.

Do you think this man intended for his creation to stand in the picture, looking normal? No, he wanted her to dazzle and delight everyone. He wanted her to attract and overpower everyone. He wanted Wonder Woman to be outstanding!

And Wonder Woman should be outstanding!

No, Wonder Woman must be outstanding!

She must stand out, to better encourage all women to stand out!

She must be also somewhat large.

And I don't mean muscular and masculine large.

I don't mean obese either (but I can't see why she shouldn't have charming fat deposits on her tummy and hips like a real woman anyway.)

I mean feminine large.

I mean tall and curvy, big hips and breasts.

She must be vital, powerful and beautiful. The Brave Little Tailor image of the small hero facing the huge beast may work for Green Lanterns but not for Wonder Woman. Diana who teaches that women can overcome any and all barriers should never look small. She should never look like a "normal woman" because Diana represents what is extraordinary about womanhood! All that's wonderful and enjoyable and admirable about femininity.

How could you want to cut that short?

Diana should never be short, because she is the Height of Womanhood. She is Femininity at its Largest. She was created during a time when women were still were encouraged to think small, act small, and repress their Largeness (their ambition, their demonstrativeness, their lust, their Loisity) because men don't like that. Diana, in her need to explore and experience, attempted this as Diana Prince. She kept her height, but she pinned down her ample bosom underneath a dark suit, slicked her bushy Greek hair back, and hid her eye makeup behind glasses.

But even she chafed under all that polyester.

Even she constantly rolled her eyes at stupidity it was taboo to point out.

Even she said "Enough is Enough! My Largeness can no longer be contained! I need to fight, drink, dance!"

So, Diana becomes Wonder Woman, and she tosses that attitude aside.

Large as life and twice as bright, as the saying goes. But she does stop there. For Diana, it is not enough to just be Large.

Diana embraces her Largeness.

She flaunts her Largeness.

Hell, she's worn her Largeness over her activewear for 63 years running now -- "Miss Femininity 1942-2005."

Remember Steve Trevor? (The early years). The very man who ignored her traditional small alter ego fell head over heels for her Large, Lusty True Self!

Why is that?

Is that because she's a normal woman who can lift cars? No, many women in the DCU can do that.

It's because she's Wonder Woman, Dammit.

She's unstoppable and overwhelming to all. She bursts off the page with all the combined energy of a single working mother rushing to get her kids to school before her meeting, a teacher who sees a child running with scissors, a shopper at a Boxing Day sale, a woman who watches pornography to heckle, a new airfield worker trying to get her lazy-ass coworkers to train her, and a female slash-fic writer who sees a male character saying his favorite pick-up line to another male character.

Diana lives to explore and conquer new territory (with loving submission, of course). She is the first woman to leave her homeland in three thousand years! Now that is a Large thought. That is the Largeness inside of every woman screaming to get out and see the world.

Diana is supposed to look on the outside how all women look on the inside.

Not a delicate frail fair maiden, but a vibrant goddess of life and beauty. And yes, a giantess! A beautiful, talented, amazing, strong giantess who can pick up any man she wants and carry them to the Temple of Aphrodite (Route 6, Exit 51) for a sweet night of physical pleasure, political philosophy, and bondage games.

And who doesn't need Joshua to give her a boost into the airplane.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Green Lantern Corps Policy

Notes from the 12-27-05 Green Lantern Corps morning briefing.

Subject: Sexual Harassment
Briefer: Kyle Rayner

Transcript Here

Good morning. I've been instructed to brief all Lanterns on the Guardians' Sexual Harassment Policy. There's a roster being passed around, please intial next to your name, or I'll have to read this to you again.

A-hem.

Romantic liasons are not restricted among Corps personnel. It is strongly enouraged that you research the mating rituals of your potential liason prior to the actual liason.




For example, violence is permitted as a response to unwelcome advances, but in a number of cultures it is simply the next step. Please know what you are getting into.

Standard Policy is that no means no, especially when the mental state of the refuser is in question.






Do not expect help from your chain of command. Any one who is unable to fend off the advances of Senior Lanterns Gardner or Jordan on their own does not deserve to be here.



Please be warned that the persons you will interact with outside of the Corps have no such restrictions on their behavior, and may have less than honorable intentions.



You have been briefed.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Happy Holidays

(There are numerous amusing Holiday posts throughout the Blogohedron. I'm taking a day off.)

Have a joy-filled winter religious festival of your choice!

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Guy Gardner is the Scariest Person in the DC Universe

I can picture the following exchange occurring in a future issue of Green Lantern Corps:

GUY: You see my friend back there? (Indicates Kyle Rayner, too far in the background to hear, and absorbed in the multi-colored mud of this world)

HAPLESS SPACE BADDIE: Yes. (Watches Kyle draw in the mud with his finger)

GUY: That is Kyle Rayner of Oa. The Most Revered Torchbearer of the Green Lantern Corps, Holy Savior of the Guardians of the Universe, and my partner.

HSB: (Looks at Kyle, who is now finger-painting a rock with colorful mud)

GUY: And I am the luckiest son of a bitch in the universe because he likes me, and the Guardians like him. In fact, they love him. No matter how weirdly he behaves, they reward him. They will do whatever they can to make him safe and happy. I keep him safe, and I am his closest friend. So punishing me for little indiscretions like destroying your ship, and killing you, would make him unhappy, and they know this.

HSB: (Nods, slowly comprehending the gravity of the situation)

GUY: In fact, I could blow up this entire star system and get away with it. Because they'd rather see all of you dead than him sad or lonely. Understand?

HSB: (Nods)

GUY: Now, let's get on with the negotiating here.

Upon the Reading of Infinite Crisis #3

(Spoilers by Process of Elimination)

I don't care, I still think it's Parallax.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Also...

For those of you who want more thoughtful posts on female and male characters -- See Shelly and Kalinara.

Between the Panels

Due to an unreliable UPS truck, I, and much of the greater Oklahoma City Area, find myself without comics today. I went to work and enjoyed myself anyway. Got to play with diagnostic programs, test equipment, take things apart, get some fresh air, get kicked off the jet so they can tow it... These moments have been all-too rare for me recently. I discovered that as much as I dread going outside and moving all the equipment so I can work, I'm a lot happier on work days when I actually get to work than when I sit inside and tell other people to work or document their progress. Wierd, huh?

Anyway, saw the following when I visited Dave's Long Box today:

Man, what would it be like to date Big Barda? You’d be out at dinner and she’d be all, “This crème brulee is better than ripping the heart out of an ash-crawler. When I finish I will take you to my bed and you will pleasure me until I am sated.” And you’d be all, “(gulp) Okay…”

...and it got me thinking:

What must it have been like to have Big Barda, Queen Hippolyta, and the Huntress on the JLA at the same time? I mean, you know Kyle must have been as happy as Brainiac 5 at a Supergirl lookalike/wet T-shirt contest, but what about the other guys, the alpha male types and the ones who prefer healthy relationships?

I guess it's just another one of those places in comics where you know you missed something amazingly funny between the panels...

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Journey to the Center of the Universe

Infinite Crisis #1 and #2, and JLA #123 Spoilers Ahead

Okay, we saw an interlude in Infinite Crisis #1 set in the middle of the Polaris system (site of the Rann-Thanagar War), in front of that huge tear in the space-time continuum. The following peopel are known to be present at this disaster:

1) Adam Strange, more than enough hero for two worlds!
2) (a) Hawkman, for you guys who thought Animal Man or Bumblebee would be The Load and (b) Hawgirl (Kendra Saunders) who is not the Load because I like her.
3) Captain Comet, Equally formidable amounts of intelligence and power
4) Vril Dox II, Even more intelligence, and the arrogance to tell people with formidable power what to do.
5) Lydea Mallor, Darkness Powers, and we've seen from the Shade (Many bios of whom contains serious Starman Spoilers and I haven't delved too deeply into this one, so click at your own risk), Obsidian, and Nightshade that they trump nearly everything in the right hands.
6) L.E.G.I.O.N is a massive agency, and contains other powered people (I'm just not up to speed on who still has powers anymore!)
7) Prince Gavyn, Starman, and his Cosmic Shepherd's Staff
8) Tigorr of the Omega Men, who can trade grooming tips with Animal Man
9) Kyle Rayner, Senior Green Lantern, who's record speaks for itself. Admittedly, it speaks of both good and bad -- "Why don't we just pump it full of energy and see what happens?" Interestingly enough, he appears to be Incident Commander. This also speaks of both good and bad possibilities.
10) Kilowog, Even More Senior Green Lantern
11) Guy Gardner, Senior Green Lantern, though not actually present, has as much as promised to bring the entire Green Lantern Corps there under his command. Again, good and bad possibilities.

Various hints dropped at the Comic-Bloc Forums indicate we will see developments out here. The following points may be touched upon:

-- Given 9 and 11, we can be very grateful for 10.
-- 3, 5, and 7 are impressively powerful
-- 9, 10, and 11 individually command massive, mind-blowing amounts of power, and are (by now) trained to work as a group.
-- 1, 3, 4, 9, and 10 are adept of thinking of ways around planet-level threats
-- 1, 3, 7, 9 and 10 are all known to be highly cooperative
-- 2 and 8 don't seem very useful at all, unless there is an all-out brawl, which is actually pretty likely, given 11's impending presence, and the number of 9's ex-girlfriends on New Cronus
-- 4, 5, and 6 will most likely cause the most infighting, though 2a is at an all-time low for teamwork ability right now.
-- 4 possesses the highest level of intelligence possible, but 2a is acting stupid enough lately to actually lower the intelligence level in a room.
-- 4 and 9 seem to be employing time-travel, or at least the ability to appear in multiple places at once. This may help.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


In addition to the above points, we have to factor in Donna Troy's team.
In JLA #123, Donna Troy told the JLA "I only need the most powerful among you."
We see in Infinite Crisis #2 that she felt a need to add Animal Man, Cyborg, Starfire, Red Tornado II, Firestorm (Jason Rusch), Bumblebee, Herald, Airwave, another Green firkin' Lantern (Alan Scott), Jade, Shift, and Supergirl to the above assemblage. All of these people are traveling on New Cronus to the New Center of the Universe -- the Immense Hold in the Space-Time Continuum Located in the Polaris System.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


Clearly, something is coming out of that hole.

And I'm sorry, but if it's the Anti-Monitor, I will be severely disappointed. If the Anti-Monitor pops out of that Rift, the rest of the series could only unravel in one way:

At the worst possible moment, the Anti-Monitor will rise out of the Gigantic Hole in the Space-Time Continuum posing like the main villain in a Korugarian Space Opera.

He will cackle maniacally.

Then his vision will clear, and he will notice the two massive armada. So far, so good.

He will smile, and survey the battleships -- my, there's quite a few of them like they're expecting him.

His smile will falter until he sees some of the colorful Earth heroes. This is what he expected.

He will begin to step out of the Rift to attack, and then....

...he will see the Green Lanterns.

And then, he will count the Green Lanterns.

And then he will tip his pillbug helmet politely to Donna Troy, apologize for bothering her, and promise to return at a more convenient time.

Cut to One Year Later.

Quick Linkblogging

Kalinara on JSA Fanfiction:
(I am completely, utterly incapable of slashing Alan. Ever. Jay either. I think if I tried, they would look up from the paper and calmly and politely ask me to stop. And I would have no choice.)

Captioning Contest at the Drudge Siren

Sleestak introduces us to Creepy Uncle Hal

Scipio offers us rationalization.

Zombie Mallet poses a question about Death.

Seasonal: Infinite Christmas

Calvin Pitt
offers DC the best of Marvel in a post addressed to Devon and Scipio.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

The Green Lantern Curse

(True Love, Unrequited Love, Cute teenaged crushes.... Apparently, you can't even look at a Green Lantern's butt without stumbling and breaking your ankle)

Kilowog

Arisia -- Kilowog had a crush on the adult Arisia. We all see how well that worked out.

Salakk
Iona Vane -- Erased from existence.

Arisia
Kilowog -- Died, resurrected after she died
Hal Jordan -- Possessed by Giant Yellow Bug Monster from Outer Spaaaace!

Brik
Hal Jordan -- Again, possessed by Giant Yellow Bug Monster From Outer Spaaaaace!

Katma Tui
John Stewart -- Failed to save Xanshi, worked for Controllers, paralyzed twice

Ash
Ash's Wife -- Killed by vampires

Kreon
Boodika -- Lost hand in Emerald Twilight, last seen seen strung up and insensible on Manhunter Homeworld

Boodika
Kreon -- Crap beat out of them both in Emerald Twilight, last seen strung up and insensible on Manhunter Homeworld

Alan Scott
Rose Canton -- Suicide
Molly Mayne -- Sold soul in Underworld Unleashed, apparently got it back but is cursed to age normally while her husband remains youthful.

Hal Jordan
Jennifer (College/High School Gilfriend) -- Disintegrated in Coast City
Carol Ferris -- Mind regularly taken over by Space Aliens, on and off again villainess.
Iona Vane -- Again, she was erased from existence.
Kari Limbo -- Died in Coast City disaster
Olivia Reynolds -- Last seen flirting with Icemaiden. While this is not tragic, it is pretty damned interesting.
Rose Hardin -- Ended up on the Mosaic World the night before the papers were due at the bank to prevent foreclosure on farm. Cannot return to Earth without losing farm now. Fate uncertain with Mosaic Retcon

John Stewart
Katma Tui -- Hacked to pieces in an 8-Page story where she had 5 lines, 3 of which were bitchy. Resurrection retconned away.
Rose Hardin -- Dated John after Hal, continued to be trapped on Mosaic world. Found happiness there, right after John went back with a resurrected Katma Tui. Fate uncertain with Mosaic retcon.
Merayn -- Unable to be taken seriously on Earth for all of her qualifications, apparently turned evil (or at least, bitchy)

Guy Gardner
Kari Limbo -- Died in Coast City disaster
Torah Olafsdotter -- The only proper love interest for Guy Gardner was sacrificed to make a lame villain look more dangerous, on a mission Guy wasn't even on!

Jade
Brainwave -- Went evil, got better, went evil again, got better again
Kyle Rayner -- Shall with start with the time his heart was torn out and used to house the souls of the Justice League, or when the girl stabbed him through the same heart? Or how about the worrisome number of times he's been kidnapped and tortured?
Lucas Simon -- We can only hope...

Kyle Rayner
Alex DeWitt -- Still defrosting
Adara -- One night stand, committed suicide the next morning.
Donna Troy -- Depowered. Ex-husband and son slaughtered. Totally Mindfucked. Died. Came back to life, still mindfucked. Another failed marriage.
Jade -- Lost powers, regained powers but apparently lost mind, cheated on Kyle with loser, was cheated on by loser, still dated loser afterwards
Terry Berg -- This one's pretty impressive, because Kyle never actually had a relationship with him. Terry just had a schoolboy crush on Kyle, and Kyle gently turned him down right off. And then he got the shit beat out of him. Wow. Kyle's powers of tragedy are truly impressive.

Favorite Women of DC Comics Part IV: Lois Lane

Lois Lane (Action Comics, Superman)
-- So, now you know my secret.

I'm a Lois Lane fan.

I've thought long and hard about what I can say to explain this one. It sounds like grounds for losing your Feminist card. I mean, all of those arguments that I have for killing Jade fall short in the face of this revelation, right?

Wrong.

I believe, unlike many comic book fans, that there is a great deal in the initial concept. What works for one character will not work for another, based on the very concept. Take, for example, the Damsel-in-Distress slander.

Lois Lane was the prototype for silly comic book girlfriends.
She sees trouble, she follows it, she gets into it and gets helped by the hero.
She repeats this over, and over.
She never learns.

Lois Lane is the Classic Recurring Damsel-in-Distress.

Well, obviously, someone is going to have to be in Distress. At least half the time, it should be a woman. This is okay. What is not okay is when the character is a "Hero" or a "Villain" as opposed to "Civilian", and ends up in Distress the majority of the time, and mediocre at best the rest of the time. That is bad.

Now, when a character is by nature a "Civilian" character it is more than all right for them to be in Distress.

Lois Lane is a Civilian character. She is not an incompetent female sidekick when ends up in over her head and needs to be saved by the male lead. She is a civilian news reporter who ends up in over her head and needs to be saved by the male lead. The main difference is whether or not being in over their head makes the character incompetent. Lois Lane has above-average tomboy brawling skills, but the majority of her ability is in writing, lying, and sneaking around spying on people. She has no super-powers. This is Okay. Not everyone has them. And if Lois had them (as she did quite often during the Silver Age) indications are she'd probably do a decent job of taking care of herself. Sure, she's not Hope O'Dare or Alanna Strange (able to handle herself powerless against powered people) but she does okay for herself with what she has.

My problem is when the Damsel-in-Distress situation betrays incompetence on the part of the Damsel, which, in Lois' case, it doesn't. She does a good job at her job, which is writing. Her problem is when she runs into Superman's world. Superman's world is different from the one Lois was designed to live in, bottom line.

But Lois is stupid. She didn't see past a pair of glasses for 60 years!

Well, she's not as dumb as everyone thinks. Pre-Crisis Lois figured out who Clark was a few times, and he kept using comic book physics (shapeshifters, time-travel, other wierdness) to be in two places at once and throw her off. She may have been outclassed and out-wierded, but I think galatically stupid is going too far. I mean, as I said before: she's a Civilian. Different world, normal world -- not properly equipped to deal with Superman's world.

-- Maybe the above is rationalism, but I can never hate Lois. Ever. No matter how many stupid situations she ends up in.

Because her very concept is a boon to all humanity.

She utterly destroys one of the stupidest attitudes towards romance ever conceived.

Yes, I'm talking about the dread "No man will want a woman who..." argument. "No man will want a woman who can't cook." "No man will want a woman who competes with him." "No man will want a woman who spends more time at work than at home." "No man will want a woman who is forward enough to propose to him!" "No man will want a woman who is outspoken, ambitious, strong-willed, career-oriented, nagging, or nosy!"

Wanna bet?

Not everyone is happy alone. Not everyone is totally satisfied in the company of women. It is not unfeminist to pursue a male companion. Lust is a natural drive, and it is unhealthy to deny it.

Unfortunately, traditional wisdom advises both genders to hide their undesirable aspects when choosing a mate. For many women still "undesirable aspect" means opinions, talents, dreams apart from raising a family, and overall backbone. Contemporary Wisdom now acknowledges that no Real Man wants a doormat, but what I've seen of Lois Lane's era disagrees with Contemporary Wisdom.

One thing is certain from the Superman mythos: Superman is a Real Man (and Beau Smith can just bite my ass over this one). Superman represents the Ideal Man.

I've read a lot about how Superman is a "male adolescent fantasy, where the weak exterior that is mocked by desirable females hides a godlike interior that drives such women to lust."

Now, in that description, ask yourself who the "desirable female" is.

It is so beautiful that the most idealized male in existence wanted an outspoken career woman more than anyone else. There's a damn good feminist message at the root of it, even if on the surface she's obsessed with him and spends most of her time trying to trick him into a marriage.

Lois Lane was a pushy, loudmouthed brunette reporter and Superman thought she was a Goddess.

This because Lois Lane knows something very, very important, that she wants to share with us.

Lois realizes that even if you ultimate goal is marriage and family, you don't attract the Perfect Man by hiding in the kitchen and dumbing down to protect his ego. You attract him by being brave and aggressive, going straight for your goals and not compromising for anything.

You want to be Perry White's top reporter. Go for it! You want to give that up to marry Superman and raise kids, that's fine too -- go after him! Strong-willed is beautiful. Ambitious is admirable, and he won't find it a turn-off if you ask him out.

This is not just something Lois Lane says or thinks. This is what she lives. This is what demonstrates. She tells us to be who we are, and not be ashamed. To want what we want, and go after it. Don't worry about ending up alone, because the ideal person will love you no matter what everyone else says "desirable" is.

It may not seem like much now, but the generation that gave us this it must have been one hell of a lesson to digest.

Appreciate the Lesson of Lois Lane.

After all, she did bag Superman.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Addendum to Part II

Hmm... Just realized the problem with Carol Ferris as Star Sapphire wasn't the attraction to Green Lantern. Zamarons don't seem to mind picking up Korugarians and other male aliens for a little fun. It was that she wanted to stay on Earth because of him. In fact, Anamede was being generous offering her a chance to change her mind, because Carol gave them a huge tipoff that she was not the right woman for the job.

In Green Lantern #16 Carol said: "I can't leave Earth!"

A Real Queen would have said: "Just bop him on the head and find him a cute outfit. I'll explain when we get Zamaron."

Contest

I will post Part IV sometime after Midnight tomorrow (12 AM Central Standard Time, Sunday Morning -- 12/18/05).

If anyone can correctly guess the one female featured in Part IV, I will change my signature on Comic Book Resources (where I post as Patience), and on the Comic-Bloc Forums (here I'm just plain Ragnell) to link to their blog under the words "This person is smarter than me" for one full week (Seven full days of free links from various threads -- And rumor has it that Green Lantern, Green Lantern Corps: Recharge, and Infinite Crisis come out this Wednesday, so I'll at least be bitching about them not coming out on Thursday, Friday and Saturday).

I'll also put them at the top of the Blogroll, above the "Comic Bloggers Poll" link, for the entire week, while everyone else is randomly shuffled whenever I feel like a change of scenery.

Favorite Women of DC Comics Part III: Wonder Women

Queen Hippolyta (Wonder Woman, JLA, JSA)
--"Wonder Woman, do you have any advice for post-menopausal women?" (JLA #16)
-- As much as I disliked John Byrne's run, the best thing to come out of it was his Hippolyta. She'd been through a low period of over-protectiveness, rigid formality, isolationism, and untrustworthy scheming. She emerged from this under Byrne's pen as a fun-loving adventuress who enjoyed the nickname "Polly" and hanging out with the guys in the JSA Headquarters.
When her daughter died, she got her resurrected through prayer. She took over as Wonder Woman while Diana was being a goddess. She took some guy's arm off on her first day. She joined the JLA and half of the new members on the team couldn't tell she wasn't her own daughter.

She went back in time and joined the JSA. There, she established herself as a powerful addition to the team, fulfilled the role of secretary (And before you bash this, the JSA was set up like a Board of Directors with specific positions like a Chairman to preside at meetings, and a Secretary to take notes at meetings -- not to answer phones and make coffee -- I only have Vol 1 & 9 of All-Star Comics Archives, but I never saw pre-Crisis Wonder Woman sitting on the sidelines) fought Nazis, spread the Amazonian message to an earlier, more traditional America, posed for pinups for GIs, and, of course, bagged Wildcat (MROW!). Not a bad run at all.

If Hippolyta were still alive during Infinite Crisis she'd have called Diana to the palace for some hot tea, sat with her on the patio and assured her beloved daughter that she was absolutely right to snap that man's neck like a twig, and that the rest of the world was just being silly and unrealistic.

It'd read like a flavored instant coffee commercial from Hell.

I know some fans thought it was ridiculous that an Queen would consent to a nickname like "Polly" and living in America like a commoner, but I think John Byrne hit on a more logical incarnation. Hippolyta was no pampered Princess from Buckingham Palace. She was the Three Thousand Year Old Warrior Queen of the Amazons.

Hippolyta may have been royalty, but she was salt-of-the-earth royalty. Old Tyme Royalty from back when Kings were Generals, Generals were front-line fighters, and Queens (Excepting Amazons Queens who were Generals) were baby-factories who helped patch up the wounded. She was created during that rough period that people expected their Monarchs to be leaders and protect them. She was the sort of person you would find at the beginning of a Dynasty. The one who actually divinely chosen, or the one earned her position. Basically, the one who was leader for a reason.

This is a Pagan Amazon Queen who worships the often childish, but always more real than ideal, Greek Pantheon. The sort of person created by goddesses like Athena, Demeter, Aphrodite, Hestia, and Artemis as a leader. These were not sanitized goddesses. These were worldly goddesses. A strategist/warrior, a Mother/farmer, a sex goddess, a Hearth-tender, and a Wild Woman of the Woods. They would create a wordly Queen. When Hippolyta essentially became the Pre-Crisis Wonder Woman, she became the Queen these goddesses would have created. She knew paradise, luxury, and leadership on Themiscyra but before that she knew that sex and blood and mud and sweat were the foundations of life. This was a woman brought alive from the Earth herself, never afraid to get her hands dirty, to laugh and joke and live and have a belching contest at Friday Night Poker with the JSA.

I miss her so much sometimes.

Phillipus (Wonder Woman)
Phillipus was Hippolyta's General, Right-Hand Amazon, and possibly her lover, though the specifics are ambiguous (But do you seriously believe that Hippolyta would go without for three thousand firkin' years? Right...). She taught Diana everything she knows about fighting. She now holds one of the top political offices on Themiscyra.

She doesn't get anywhere near enough panel time.

Wonder Woman (Wonder Woman, JLA)
-- I've always had a soft spot for Diana herself, no matter how badly she comes off. I think every writer writes her wonderfully, until I see the next writer and compare. She just seems to get stronger and more centered with each incarnation.

Plus, there's just something inherently good in her concept. It may be the Greek connection, the military background, the history, or maybe that she has so many aspects to her personality that you can see yourself in her no matter what she's doing. Maybe it's that she's unashamed of her body, but not slutty.
Or that she could be a total bitch and kick everyone's ass but loves everyone and is nice to them instead.

I suspect, thought, that the simplest explanation is the best:
She's the Fairy-Tale Princess who gets to be the Hero of the story.

She's the First Lady of Comicdom.

She's Wonder Woman, for Athena's sake! Who doesn't like her?

Friday, December 16, 2005

Favorite Women of DC Comics Part II: Green Lantern

Soranik Natu (Green Latern: Recharge #1)
-- One Issue. A great concept. She does not want to be a Green Lantern. She's happy where she is, and Green Lanterns are reviled and cursed on her homeworld, which spawned Sinestro. But, she's a Doctor, and accepts entrance in order to save a life. Now, she wants out, but it's much too late. Even though she's currently playing damsel-in-distress, I am dying to see what happens with her.


Alexandra DeWitt (Green Lantern, Volume 3)
-- I've mentioned before that I thought from his depictions of Donna and Jade that Ron Marz couldn't write women. Then I actually read "New Dawn" and saw Alex. Alex was smiling, bright, and optimistic. Pretty, fashionable, and vivacious. Strong, capable and intelligent. Alex came alive in very few pages. Alex's death was tragic and shocking not because of grotesque details, but because of her personality. She seemed to be a character who would last a long time.

That may be why I have such a problem with Kyle's other girlfriends. Alex is a tough act to follow.


The Space-Amazons of Zamaron (Green Lantern, Volume 1)
-- The all-female sister tribe of the Green Lantern's bosses, the Guardians of the Universe.
Their attitude about men becomes understandable when you realize their natural mates are the Guardians (Smurfy goodness, with none of the enthusiasm) and the Controllers (Tall, thin, cerebral, perpetual stick up the butt).

Their chosen replacement mates: Korugarians.

That's right, Sinestro's race.

Starting to get their picture of masculinity?

Then they have the extremely amusing custom of choosing an alien based on very specific physical requirements, and making her their Queen, the Star Sapphire. While this may seem unwise, consider the stagnation and isolationism of their male counterparts. This might be an extreme measure to avoid those pitfalls. And they've proven already that they won't keep an incompetent or evil Queen. The Golden-Age Flash villainess was one they'd booted for stupidity.

So, they have these very specific physical requirements, basically that each Star Sapphire look identical to the previous one (Man, would I love to see the Green Lantern story that explains how this custom came about -- probably involving a tragic death of their first Queen) but nothing else (personality, experience, planetary origin) needs to amtch up. Coincidentally, these physical requirements fit Hal Jordan's girlfriend, Carol Ferris, to a T. Wackiness ensued.

It was fun, it's always fun to see them. They are just such an awesome concept. I badly want them active again.


Anamede of Zamaron (Showcase Presents: Green Lantern)
-- I love the entire Zamaron race, but I like her (the fair-haired one on the spaceship in Green Lantern #16) best.
Why?

A) She gets the best lines: "We are aware that this Green Lantern is a hero of considerable prowess on your world! We will show you what a weakling he really is! Better yet, you will prove it to yourself!" "Her loyalty to this mere man is astonishing." "Look, she is fainting from the excitement! Such a disgrace to our sex!" "Since you were defeated by a mere man, Carol Ferris..."

B) She gets to use all of the cool looking gadgets on the Zamaron spaceship.

C) She is the only Zamaron given a name, ever.


Katma Tui (Green Lantern, Volume 2)
-- After the glory that was Katma Tui-Stewart (and the hope from her resurrection in the now retconned-away Green Lantern: Mosaic), how could any Green Lantern fan be satisfied with Jade?! How?

Case in Point: Issue 189
Katma uses her ring successfully while blinded. Katma trumps Kyle (JLA: Tower of Babel) and Guy (OMAC Project) and shows that she could beat the snot out of an OMAC and Batman.

Katma carries grace and confidence while training John, and does not once come off as a bitch.

Katma needs no Oath to teach respect for the Emerald Power.

Katma can falter and need to be rescued without seeming incompetent or evoking the damsel-in-distress slander because she is so clearly an equal to her rescuer in the preceeding circumstances (and she's just so wonderful I can forgive it).

Katma is an alien ingenue who does not look stupid.

Katma is quietly dignified.

Katma is beautiful without a trace of tramp.

Katma is the foremost Emerald Lady.

Katma is the Ultimate Female Green Lantern.

Bring Back Katma!!