A Joke In Need of a Punchline

This panel begs for mocking, but I can't quite word a joke right tonight. Can anybody help me out?

Justice League of America

I just finished reading it, I still hate the Red Tornado, but the story seems worth finishing on the first read. We'll see how it holds up on a second read. I'm getting more and more attached to the idea of Arsenal as a member, I hope this one isn't a fake-out. The interior art was good, Benes is very talented, but I still have one overwhelming complaint about it...

Mild Spoilers
(Mild Spoilers)


I hate the Platinum redesign. It's gaudy, unbalanced, and overaccessorized. Please change her back immediately.

Final Call: Carnival Submissions

Submissions for the Fourth Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans are Due Wednesday, August 23rd on the Official Shrub.com Blog. Send submissions and nominations here (subject heading Feminist SF Carnival) or through the BlogCarnival Submission Form.

The Carnival will posted on August 25th, 2006

If you are interested in hosting a future edition of the Carnival, please contact ragnellthefoul AT hotmail DOT com for information.

Please crosspost everywhere applicable.

Peculiar Search Terms

I was, sadly, not surprised to see someone get to my blog with what are my teenage breasts supposed to look like because teenagers can be pretty insecure.

I was pretty damned surprised not only to see someone get here with it, but to actually see a search for Hermes/Apollo slash. That's fandom on a religious level.

My Newest Infatuation

I think I've in love.

He's been working on it for a while already, and seems to have one hell of a plan.

“My plan is to start with Steve Trevor crashing on Paradise Island, and hilarity ensues,” Hughes said. “The way the All Star line was pitched to me, and this was several years ago, was that this was going to be the iconic interpretation."

I like that part where "hilarity ensues." It will be nice to have an All-Star book that's funny on purpose (Unless Miller truly is the Kaufman of Comics, in which case the joke is on all of us -- critics and buyers alike.)

“My take on Wonder Woman is that she’s the perfect woman, but perfect characters are boring. It’s the weaknesses that make people interesting. Superman running through the criminal world, with bullets bouncing off of him saying, ‘It tickles!’ - that’s not as interesting as it is when Superman gets to the villains’ lair, and the bad guy whips out a piece of Kryptonite, and Superman’s weakness now must come into play.

“Wonder Woman’s this perfect character, so her weakness can’t make her look like a bad person, or even a weak character, really, and I came up with insatiable curiosity. All of my favorite, larger than life, fictitious characters seem to come from farms, and they all seem to have what I think is called a Dorothy complex – they have everything they need at home, but they want to see over the rainbow. That’s it with Wonder Woman – she lives in the perfect place – and she wants to go to man’s world, and meet people, and talk to strangers, and learn their ways. I thought, in the hands of a writer who’s halfway decent, that insatiable curiosity, that Marco Polo, ‘I have to see the world’ kind of thing, could get any character into a world of trouble. She has this insatiable need to know and see the world. She’s Dorothy Gale, She’s Luke Skywalker, she’s James Kirk – she wants to get off the farm.”

He seems to have realized the importance of Hermes being the only patron she has that she doesn't share with the rest of the Amazons.

"There’s a difference between curiosity and naiveté. Wonder Woman standing in the middle of traffic asking, ‘What’s a car?’ is not what I’m talking about. She’s out somewhere, in strange new lands, meeting new people, and while she’s there, she needs to slay a dragon…or something. She’s almost addicted to learning new things. Anybody else would look at her and think she was perfect – wise, strong, beautiful, but she’s like a mental anorexic, and would be thinking, ‘I haven’t learned Japanese yet.’ But there’s no pessimism – there just aren’t enough hours in the day to learn all the new things in the world. That’s where her fascination of man’s world comes from – it’s so big and wide open – there’s just so much. Where she’s going to get into trouble is that…there are certain things we do in man’s world that they don’t do on Paradise Island. Likewise, she’s never seen a baby…or an old woman. Somewhere in amongst all of that, the stories start to write themselves.”

That's... That's a little creepy. Adam Hughes can read my mind, and has decided to use the Wonder Woman approach he found there.

And as for that aforementioned Steve Trevor? After 25 odd years as not being even perhaps a love interest, he’s back to his more traditional role, that of a contemporary to Diana in age.

“To make this all an interesting journey, I’m trying to turn up the interest level in Steve Trevor. He’s going to be her guide through man’s world, and if romance blossoms between them, well…we’ll have to see…”

Marry me, Adam.

“If I can pull him off the way I want, picture Steve Trevor as Steve McQueen who’s been hanging out with Race Bannon from Jonny Quest, and they go over to Chuck Yeager’s house for drinks, but it’s the Chuck Yeager played by Sam Shepherd from The Right Stuff. Steve Trevor is the prototypical laconic, cowboy pilot, because that would make an interesting balance with Wonder Woman.”

Or, to go totally geekspeak, Hal Jordan wishes he could be Steve Trevor one day – and not just for the possible shot at Wonder Woman.

If marriage is out of the question, I have this reproductive equipment I'm not using right now and wouldn't mind bearing your child.

As Hughes sees it, he’s the perfect match for Wonder Woman.

And he's not the only one. So long as he keeps the vital Steve characteristic -- which is that being saved by a woman turns him on as opposed to hurting his pride. The proper reaction to getting his butt saved by Diana is not "I'm being saved by a girl" but "So, what are you doing after the fight's over?"

“Everything Wonder Woman says and does makes the world a better place. If you aske her to pass the salt at the dinner table, she’d do it in a way that would make you think, ‘Gosh darn it, I am going to go back and finish college! She could cure cancer with a smile. She’s this positive, outspoken person, so her companion for the story will be this laid-back, laconic, cowboy poet of a pilot who balances her completely. Again - it’s not a story about a superhero, it’s about a princess from a foreign country coming to America, and her handler/tour guide is the Marlboro Man.”

Okay, if he can pull it off, this could be a lot of fun.

Finally a Wonder Woman writer who sees things the way I do. Hopefully he can convert enough to this viewpoint that some of the All-Star continuity makes its way to the regular continuity, and Steve Trevor lives forever!!

Coming in November... (Yes, these would be Spoilers)

The full DC November Solicits are up featuring... The Shocking Return of Kyle's Face!

Other things of note:
-- Detective Comics will not be by Paul Dini in November.

-- All-Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder is late even on a "bimonthly" schedule, resoliciting the issue with Wonder Woman's butt on the cover. You know, the one we'd have to buy so to see how badly he fucks up Diana and the rest of the JLA. Yes, I was going to read it. Kalinara and I have a bet about how he degrades Green Lantern. I've got money down on how angry I'll get.

-- Catwoman is still fighting the Film Freak?

-- Cassie Cain's really been getting around since she turned evil. She'll be in Supergirl #12 this time.

-- 52 WEEK 26: The Origin of Power Girl by Waid and Adam Hughes.
WEEK 30: Get ready for the story you never expected! "Batman...No More” — a full length 22-page adventure featuring Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd and...Batwoman?!?

-- Ken Lashley is still drawing The Flash. This makes me sad. Why won't this book let me love it?!

-- Okay, Johns, I'm holding you to this Green Lantern solicitation. You've played with us way too long. You've teased us in other solicits and not followed through. This, this is the last straw. I had better see John Stewart this issue, dammit!!

-- "On the planet Korugar, a Lantern faces hatred and rejection and, across the cosmos, another Lantern’s heart is broken."
The lesbian subtext in the first Green Lantern Corps storyline was so thick that it took two readings to figure out which character they actually meant by the second clause of that sentence.

-- Green Lantern Archives, Vol 6, "Advance-solicited; on sale January 3"
Tease.

-- Without even reading the writeup for Green Arrow #68, I'm guessing Monsters.

-- Just for the record, I'm purposefully avoiding the slash joke about Ion #8.

-- "Hot on the stardust trail of the oldest artifact in the universe, the Omega Men crash land on earth — dragging with them the battling Spider Guild, L.E.G.I.O.N., and a mysterious female alien. Only one thing stands in the way of a planet-wide cosmic doomsday: the heroes of Earth!"
I'm sold on Omega Men. All it needs is Adam Strange, Captain Comet and a Green Lantern and it has the whole Outer Spaaace! set.

-- Sachs and Violens TP
There was seriously more demand for this than a collected Green Lantern: Mosaic?

-- Supergirl and the Legion of Superheroes once again does not have Starboy on the cover or in the solicitation. Dude, you don't just change his appearance and shunt him to the background. Khallor-fans, unite!! We want Thom! Well, we think he's Thom... We'd like to know if he's Thom or not...

-- This image was four hundred times better when Alex Ross drew it for a Vertigo series.

-- Where the hell is Wonder Woman? Someone handcuff Heinberg to his typewriter.

JLA Lineup Spoiled

I don't know where he found it, or if it's a hoax, but some joker on CBR (in addition to a commenter here) found the revealed lineup JLA#1 cover and sweet Venus, is it hideous. It has to be a real Turner drawing. Any imitator could only improve on his style. Anyway, below the cut, the cover I saw on CBR (which will be subject to serious, serious mocking and criticism once the actual issue comes out and its not a spoiler), and my personal letters to the characters.

Potential (Very likely) Spoilers

Spoilers



Dear Diana,
Enclosed is a Victoria's Secret Gift Certificate. Get a big enough bra.

Dear Bruce,
Enclosed is a laxative. You look a bit stuffed up.

Dear Clark,
You seem to have been replaced by a beady-eyed imposter. You may need to look into that.

Dear Dinah,
Are you going to be able to be in the JSA too? Because that would rock, to see you in three teams at once. I think the record is Wally West, and that was two team books and a solo book. You could totally bury that if you could swing a miniseries too.

Dear Kendra,
At least this cover wasn't by Chaykin.

Dear Mari,
Welcome back from limbo. You've gotten quite a push lately, so there's a bit to live up to. Watch out for Green Lantern. I don't think you've dealt with him yet.

Dear Roy,
I'm happy you got your break and look forward to reading your adventures. Please remember to smile pretty for the camera, and turn around as often as Uncle Hal does.

Dear Jefferson,
Congratulations on your new job. I'm surprised you found a hairstyle that makes the Afro look good in retrospect.

Dear Hal,
I love you. You are one of my favorite Lanterns. Top 2, at least. I would enjoy seeing your butt your clumsiness your work any other time. I'm a HUGE fan. But get the fuck out of John's book, you rotten spotlight hog.

Dear stupid, garish, Silver Age android,
Rust and die. The real Red Tornado is Ma Hunkel.