Sunday, May 20, 2007

I'll hold your cape for you.

As long as I'm on statues showcasing domesticated women I have one more thing to get off my chest. (Others have pointed this out, but I still need to say it.) This whole MJ thing reminded me of this:

That one pisses me off more than any of the others, and its not the outfit. Kirby designed that outfit. Didn't bug me when he drew it. Its the pose. Do you know what would have been a better pose for Barda in that statue?

Any pose.

When Kirby drew Barda in that outfit she was doing strength exercises, lifting heavy things, and discussing the plot and battle plans with Scott. Here Barda is holding Scott's cape for him. Effectively the little woman is holding her husband's coat while he goes off to actually do stuff. It's Big Barda for heaven's sake. She should be kicking something's ass in any statue.

"Honey, here's your cape. Now go out and save the world without me."

"I'll hold your coat while you fight him, darling. Good luck."

Seriously, does that fucking sound like the quintessential Big Barda moment to you?

Yeesh, what is wrong with these licensing people?


  1. If I'm going to pay money for a statue of my favorite character, I expect awesomeness. This is not awesomeness. This is a opposite; if I had this statue I would keep it from my other statues in the fear that it would drain them of awesomeness like a parasitic alien.

    The sad thing is that this statue probably sold horribly, and somewhere a director of marketing is using that as proof items and collectables featuring females don't sell.

  2. I assumed she was saying something along the lines of "Put your cape on already so we can go beat up people". Having said that it IS a ridiculous looking statue, and I wouldnt have it in my house personally. Surely if you are a fan of Barda you would be more likely to want a statue of her in armour about to kick ass, and if you arent a fan of her you wouldnt want a statue of her regardless of how shes dressed?

  3. I think that's supposed to be the classic "magician's assistant" pose, with the outstretched arms indicating "Watch, ladies and gentlemen, while Mr Miracle escapes from this watertight chamber," or whatever.

    Which makes more sense, but still puts her into a secondary position.

  4. See, if it were the whole costume and not just the cape, we could at least pretend she's saying, "Okay, honey, once you free yourself from the three sets of booby-trapped manacles and get out of the electrified cage, THEN you can have your clothes back."


    My mind may be in a weird place today.

  5. I think that is based on a scene from one of the Kirby Miracles, but yeah.

    I guess Barda in full armor and using her MEGA-ROD would cover up the goodies.

  6. Such a terrible statue. Of course its easy to understand why distaste over it never moved beyond the general comics blogs. MJ is a much better known character than Barda...

    I want a statue where Barda is hitting something with a car...

  7. I have (male) friends who actually consider spending money on these things (and do). :o

    Yet when I visit their homes, I never see the statues. Not in their bedrooms, not in their computer rooms, nowhere. :O

    I wonder where they go o_o;;;

  8. There is nothing wrong with making a statue of a super-heroic woman, except that they seem to pick the...ODDEST moments. MJ doing laundry, Barda as a coat rack...etc. None of them DOING anything. You don't see statues of Thor, or Spiderman or Batman standing around folding towels or pumping gas do you?


  9. Ami: Clearly you haven't been invited to the 'special room'.

    Please forgive my lack of familiarity with the character, but my first impression was of the gameshow assistant displaying the prize for the next round. "Next up, we have this lovely cape in the finest kevlar/silk blend" Note that she doesn't get to speak and is rarely named.

    Let's see Batman changing the oil in the Batmobile or maybe scratching his head over what could be wrong with the carburetor, or by all means doing his laundry.

  10. Yes, it's very annoying- I'd like a Barda statue based on pages 10 and 11 of MM#7. What's great about that sequence is that Barda completely disregards Scott's opinion of what to do (in his own book!) and was never shown to be wrong. I was going to say you had to be there in 1973, but this would be pretty cool even now. I like her vengeance rampage in the next issue a lot too,,,especially last panel, page 19, MM#8. If a statue could look like that...
    While I'm going on and on, I'd also like her helmet fixed so the headpiece protects her eyes and nose again and-more importantly-gives her that great permanent scowl.