Friday, March 31, 2006

And Now For Something Completely Insensitive...

I cheated, I peeked ahead in the Showcase Presents: Superman Family volume. I read the very last story before I read the middle. I had to, it was a 1944 Lois Lane solo story. It was great, though. Lois sets out to prove she can get a story without Superman hovering nearby. She goes to a downtown building, and sees a jumper on the ledge. She actually volunteers to go out onto the ledge herself and talk him in. (And the featured cops actually let her)

Anyway, things go wonderfully until she asks why he's jumping. It's over his girlfriend.

Now, if you're Lois Lane, and you hear the above as a reason to jump off a building, how do you respond?

A -- "You poor thing! You certainly need to talk to someone about this. If you'll come in off the ledge, I know a fine couples counselor who can get to the bottom of your troubles."

B -- "Did you think that maybe she wanted to keep her slender, delicate figure for the sake of your eyes?"

C -- "Why, you grade-A boob, you! Do you mean to say you'd jump eight stories over a thing like that?!?"

For our answer, let's take a look at the panel after Lois' response.

And there you have it folks:
Lois Lane, Emergency Counselor for Troubled Young Men.

Who else wants to be her when they grow up?


  1. You know, I'd have been disappointed if 1940's Lois had given answers A or B. I like the idea that she'd hear that story and laugh. And then tell the guy he's being a moron.

    Wasn't she the "advice to the lovelorn" columnist back in the 40's? I would just LOVE to see some of those "Dear Lois" columns...

  2. I dunno. I can chuckle over scenes like this ... and the jumper scene in DIRTY HARRY ... but it's usually not recommended to egg a person on when they're contemplating suicide. Just in case ...

  3. Assuming that "Nougats" are chocolates: You can't feed them to a dog. It will make the dog extremely ill, and if in enough quantity could cause death.

  4. Even standing on a ledge 80 feet up, Lois executes a petulant foot stamp, in keeping with tropes of the time. Wheeoo.

  5. I'm with Lois. One less "nice guy" = happier planet Earth.

  6. I shouldn't have read this. I'm working my way through in order, the way a good boy should.

    This Showcase volume is better than crack. I'm buying a copy for everyone on my Xmas list.

  7. So if the nougat would cause the dog harm, could we get that lady on an episode of "Animal Cops", being lead out of her house in handcuffs?

    What? I respect sappy romantics. Such treatment of them is uncool.

  8. It is far beyond "awesome" that Lois, the woman who drowns herself, flings herself into the maw of space monsters, and agrees to marry masked aliens...all to see how much Superman "really" loves her...all without being able to recognize Clark Kent without his glasses the one handing out this gem of tough love. Not only should everyone want to be her when they grow up, we already are her and can never change.

  9. Then there's my reaction to that little scene, "Want me to push you?"


  10. "Even standing on a ledge 80 feet up, Lois executes a petulant foot stamp, in keeping with tropes of the time."

    Chawunky, she pays for it, however. The next panel is the ledge giving way beneath her, and no, Superman does not come to save her.

    Anon, this is the 1940's Lois, who was NOT throwing herself at Superman. In fact, she seemed to have as little time for him as she did for Clark...

    which made her all the more irresistable

  11. You are assuming wrong, nouget isnt all.

    Nougat is a term used to describe a variety of similar confectioneries made with sugar or honey, roasted nuts (almonds, walnuts, pistachios or hazelnuts are common, but not peanuts) and sometimes chopped candied fruit. The consistency of nougat can range from chewy to hard depending on its composition, and it is used in a variety of candy bars and chocolates.

    There are two basic kinds of nougat: white and brown. White nougat is made with beaten egg whites and is soft, whereas brown nougat (called nougatine in French) is made with caramelized sugar and has a firmer, often crunchy texture