Your complete zombie arsenal should include at least one basic garden tool, a Molotov cocktail kit, a lighter and some tampons. You laugh, but they’re very useful. They’re absorbent; soak one is gasoline and light it for an instant mini-fire bomb. They’re sterile; in a pinch you can tape one over a gaping wound to absorb the blood. So, next time your girlfriend or wife asks you to get her a box of Tampax on your beer run, don’t roll your eyes and conveniently “forget”. One of those tampons might just save your life.
This monologue by Sherin the Orange made me smile today as well.