Thursday, May 25, 2006

This is What Comes of Writing Captain Marvel Seriously.

Unlike some bloggers, I've never written slash fanfic. I've joked about it, yes. I've even poked fun at slashers in arguments. But I never considered myself a slasher, or even a likely candidate for slasherhood. I knew of a clear line. A line that separates the slashers from the people just poking a little fun.

And that line was... Captain Marvel!

Yes, innocent, sweet, young Catain Marvel was my limit. There was nothing sexual to be found, even inadvertantly, in this character. Ever. I simply refused to see it.

Until today, when I saw what the Fortress Keeper had to offer us today. Two pictures. Now, much as I love analyzing art, my eyes are drawn first to the text boxes on a page. The firstpage features the text:

"I bring it down hard." (I instantly begin giggling like a twelve year old girl.)

"I can do that now. I can summon the lightning and make it tangible." (This is what passes for serious prose in certain circles.)

"I can make them feel it."

"And I wanted these guys to feel it..."

I expected clarity when I saw the next page, but alas, it featured the text:

"...To Feel the Power of the Gods!."

And this pose:

I feel I've crossed a line. A line into something dark and strange.

I fear my life may never be the same.


  1. Heheh, slasher that I am, I can't slash Captain Marvel.

    You're officially sicker than me. Congrats! :-)

  2. That's depressing.

    I blame Judd Winick and his need to make every main male character he handles an extension of his macho ego.

  3. No matter what happens I will never look at the Captain that way.

    Superman, sure.

    Batman, ger-duh.

    Hawkman, that would explain some things.

    But never, never cap.

    Just the beady eyed innocent constant smile. I'll just never see him as any sort of slash material.

  4. When I first saw this image, I just couldn't draw my eyes away from the title. 'The boy & the Man'? Come on, WWTT? With slash fiction in mind, that's just very, very creepy.

  5. 'parently the Trials of Shazam will be of the Michael Jackson variety.

  6. If it makes you feel any better, I'm usually pretty thick when it comes to picking up language that might be misinterpreted. And even I was struck by the, um, suggestive language used in that preview.

  7. LOL steven!

    As to the quotes and sample art... wow. I already knew that absolutely no one at DC has any clue whatsoever how to write or draw Captain Marvel, but... but... but... wow. Awful beyond my wildest dreams.

  8. What's odd about that is a)Porter's interpretation of Captain Marvel in JLA was great, b) Winick's Captain Marvel in the Shazam/Superman mini-series was good, and c) Ordway's Power of Shazam series was pretty good.

    Due to a), b), and c), I reasonably good expectations for this series, but this, and Winick's desire to take Captain Marvel "seriously," makes me pessimistic.

    Wasn't Jeff Smith going to do a Shazam series? Whatever happened to that?

    And Kal, maybe you can't writer slash fiction for Billy Batson, but Geoff Johns can! And with Courtney Whitmore, the avatar of Geoff's own sister!

  9. Yikes!

    And yet, nothing anyone does with Captain Marvel will be more disturbing than the fate Alan Moore had in store for him in Twilight of the Superheroes.


  10. I read that preview and shook my head - the prose is so serious, yet so full of that concoction folks call "cheese" - and its impossible to read it without your head hitting the gutter in seconds. I think I'll give this incarnation of the Captain a pass for now. It may not actually BE worse than the Roy Thomas mini from the 80s, but it looks like it could be.

    steven - I think Smith is still working on it, but last I heard it was a graphic novel, not a miniseries. I could be wrong though. Whatever form its in, when it comes out I'm snapping it up.

  11. You know, between this and the creepy child molester vibe that marred the last few pages of the otherwise decent "Superman/Shazam: First Thunder" mini, I have to wonder just what goes through ol' Judd's head whenever he's writing about the Captain.

  12. Today's Daily Planet Headline:


  13. So, have you ever seen any of the early Captain Marvel covers?

    Take a look! But it won't help you think of Cap innocently...

  14. My first reaction upon seeing that page? CROTCHTHRUST!

    I have no problem w/taking The Big Red Cheese seriously. The thing is, despite the surprising quality of First Thunder, I doubt Judd Winick is the one to do it.

  15. Based upon the splash page, the issue should be retitled: "LO! THERE SHALL COME A CROTCH!"

    I'm just sayin'.

  16. This isn't even an update. It's a full scale replacement, with Freddy Freeman who is clearly Winicks presonal favorite, taking over the reigns. Add to recent formation of the Black Adam family buy Geoff Johns(his personal favorite). I don't think we'll be hearing from Marvel Family for several years. Or as long as Dan Didio is in charge.

    My personal opinion

    Marlon Aleman