Candidate Embarks Upon 2008 Campaign Trail

Not to be outdone by Lex Luthor, General Zod has announced his candidacy for the 2008 Presidential elections. This announcement, though early, came at a calculated time, as Kryptonians are proving to be the fastest growing minority in the United States. A recent poll by Gallup reveals a four hundred percent increase in the Kryptonian population since 1990. When asked about the constitutional rule that only native-born citizens could assume the office of the presidency, General Zod had this to say:

"Silence, you pathetic weakling. The United States was the first country on this planet that I set foot on, which is good enough for your meaningless document. Any judicial officials who dare to disagree will be dealt with accordingly."

So far, General Zod is the only candidate to officially throw his hat in the ring this early. Former President Lex Luthor held a press conference on Thurday morning announcign his intentions to run again, despite his public falling out with Superman. Luthor withdrew from the race that very same afternoon, stating that his commitment to the murder of Superman is far too time-consuming at this point.

Darth Vader was unavailable for comment, but maintains a strong enough following to take him past the primaries, if not to the Oval Office itself.

Finally, the increase in nightmares experienced by sensitive psychics indicate Cthulu as a possible candidate again. Chthulu reputedly blames his previous running mates, Nyarlathothep and Johnny Sorrow, for his past failures. Political Analysts expect him to pick the Goat of the Woods With a Thousand Young for a running mate, in order to increase his approval rating among women and parents.