More TV Wonder Woman thoughts.

IMDB has Brett Tucker's role named.

I'm still a bit cautious, because IMDB does make mistakes, but I'm now trying to picture that gorgeous man in service dress. I understand the character's ex-Army, working as a laywer (*sigh* No handsome hats for lawyers) but there's lots of flashbacks in the leaked script. I really wish for an adaptation where he's Navy or Marines, because those two services have such stunning male uniforms.

I really like the cast they've set up for this. A bit heaving on the masculine side for a Wonder Woman revival, but a pretty nice spread. I know it's likely to be the Smallville for Wonder Woman if it catches on, full of relationship plotlines, in-jokes and everyone not being quite like they are in the comics. Diana will probably be as not-quite-our-hero as Welling's Clark. There's going to be some complete absurdity to it, no doubt.

Still, if it catches on, it's a Wonder Woman series. It's a Wonder Woman revival. It's a chance to see these actors weekly. It's a push for maybe another movie, and possibly a second comics. It's at least getting her origin story out there, and back into the cultural consciousness. And they'll have something they can mock every week on Comic Alliance now that Smallville is going away.

I want this to succeed, and I'm cautiously optimistic about it.

In the meantime, I went ahead and checked out the commentary for the old Lynda Carter Wonder Woman pilot. (It's on the first season DVD.) It's Lynda Carter and Douglas S. Cramer reminiscing. And it has Carter ogling Lyle Waggoner, which just made my day.

Wonder Woman's voice saying "Everyone was so helpf--LOOK AT HIS MUSCLES! WOW!" has to be the best thing I've ever heard in a DVD commentary.

Thoughts on the old Lynda Carter Wonder Woman show.

Well, I broke my blogging streak this week but since I've been spending a decent amount of time on class and an even greater amount of time on work, I figured I was entitled to devoting my leisure time to some nostalgia.

By that I mean rewatching the entire first season of The New Adventures of Wonder Woman, which I had sitting around on DVD but hadn't really seen since I was a kid. I'd been worried that it wouldn't live up to my memories. I mean, this is one of those shows they ran late at night in reruns, and in the afternoon on the early Sci-Fi channel schedule. For a while, it was right at 3 PM and I'd get off the bus only to ever catch Lynda Carter for the last half hour. (Batman, however, was on for an hour at 5 so I could easily catch all of the Adam West cheesiness I wanted.) I looked so forward to that, and I ran when I got off the bus to see it for a while.

I really shouldn't have been worried.

Yes, it is terribly cheesy. The effects are nonexistent, the acting is quite mockable, and the plots are riddled with holes. But hey, I knew this as a kid and I never forgot it. I had forgotten a few things, though:

1) There were two Hippolytas in the first season, and when it came down to it I preferred the edgy sexist Hippolyta ("I named this place Paradise Island... because there were no men on it") who had a closed mind Diana would have to open over the amusingly absent-minded, gentle and innocent Hippolyta ("Daughter... Can't you reason with your Nazis?") that showed in the Druscilla episodes. She wasn't a horrible stereotype in the pilot, after all she ran a very peaceful society and never once considered any other option than sending Steve home once he'd recovered. She was sarcastic and sexist, though, and considered Diana the naive one. They later decided to recast her and just make the entire family naive, and the Diana the only one who could conceive of how malicious the outside world could be. This didn't really make sense because... why would the Queen not realize why they decided to LEAVE?

2) Druscilla was annoying, but kind of fun because she could make stupid statements Diana couldn't get away with. I am glad as hell she only showed up in 3 episodes, though, because she made the thought of any Amazon-centered stuff a major pain.

3) Etta Candy was even more annoying than Druscilla. I'd COMPLETELY forgotten how horrible this character was. "Oh, I wish I was pretty" all the fucking time. Golden Age Etta Candy kicked ass because she was the head of a gang of really wild college girls, she never fretted about her looks, she told off military men and never hesitated to punch out bad guys. This was a girl who could sit in a room with General Darnell and Major Trevor and tell them exactly what's going on confidently and between bites of chocolate, and was trusted enough that Steve regularly called (and ARMED) her and her entire kooky sorority for help without prompting from Diana. Post-Crisis Etta is like this, but with body issues (which I hate) and without the gang of kooky sorority girls. TV Etta is... I don't know what the fuck she is, but she's annoying and she shouldn't be muddying up my Wonder Woman. I'll take Druscilla AND Donna Troy in a story over TV-Etta.

4) I greatly prefer Gen. Darnell from the comics to Gen. Blankenship on the TV show. Blankenship was a nice old man, but Darnell was much more on the ball.

5) Diana Prince reads the Dictionary of American Slang on her break. I love that.

6) Diana Prince reads the Dictionary of American Slang on her lunch, misses most of the pop culture references, doesn't know who Thomas Jefferson is, replaces a woman who was a spy, and somehow arouses ZERO suspicion from Steve Trevor, a man employed to find and capture foreign spies during wartime.

7) Steve Trevor, despite his secretary-shaped blind spot, actually comes off as fairly sharp and good at his job.

8) Lyle Waggoner is probably why I like the Steve Trevor character. They managed to get him perfect in the first season. There are so many ways to get this character wrong: you can overmacho him and make him a jerk (making us wonder why she likes him), you can dedicate a storyline to how she teaches him to be a better person (neglecting that a, there should be a reason she likes him and b, this is not his story, this is her story and he's supposed to be the catalyst for her life change so he'd better be fucking worth leaving Paradise for in the first place), or you can dedicate a storyline to how his masculinity is threatened by her success (which goes counter to the very concept of this character).

They avoided all three here. He's a decent human being on all fronts (though not without his jerky moments like all people), a bit sexist but it manifests in the well-meaning chivalry side (like when he tries to shield her from an explosion) rather than kneejerk chauvinism (hell, in the beauty contest episode he has the same reaction as her to first seeing all the women in a secure area). They even do away with his Loisesque dismissal of Diana Prince's abilities, and he genuinely listens to her as a colleague and a friend. He starts out the series as a war hero, and as the season goes on you get to see him do heroic things in between being kidnapped, tied up and knocked unconscious. Basically, you watch this guy and understand why Wonder Woman has a crush on him.

Because he's already a stand-up human being to begin with, he doesn't need Wonder Woman to show him the error of his ways and the character development can focus on Diana and her effect on the world at large rather than just her effect on one person through love. He does get to be fleshed out, and they do try to examine his morality and honor as a military person at some points but ultimately the people who change and grow are the side characters and the bad guys in this series. I like that for Wonder Woman, because we have plenty of great stories out there about the transformative power of a woman's love on a good man so we really don't need to go to that well when the point of the franchise is to focus on the transformative power of a woman's idealism, optimism, and ability on the whole world.

And while he's embarrassed that he needs her help so often (and doesn't really get to save her that I can recall, which is different from Golden Age Steve who got a chance to save the day every fourth or fifth story) he's not testy with her or seeing her as a threat to his supremacy. Instead, he adores her and wants to help her any chance he gets.

I don't know if we'll get that sort of relationship in a modern series, though. This series was very plot-driven. Steve's role was to show Wonder Woman which asses needed to be kicked. He had a job of pivotal importance that he needed backup on, and she could always count on him walking into the biggest trouble-spot if she hung around him long enough. In this way, he was the best love interest and sidekick for him. A modern series will focus more on inter-character conflict, though, and come up with some way to manufacture drama between the two.

Hopefully, they avoid the 3 pitfalls I listed above and come up with something sensible for them to clash over. The alien visitors episode was a good setup for character conflict, actually, because it pitted his military pragmatism against her peaceful philosophy. I don't know if we'd get something that relevant of David E. Kelley, though.

9) Lynda Carter was, is, and probably forever will be one of the most likable actresses in television history. Her Diana was so sweet and innocent without being foolish. It was a perfect Year One portrayal. They played a little with the fish out of water gags through the whole series ("There's a place where they make money?" "Tom who?") but they also established early on that she knew how to read people very well. That she was so smart about people made it all the more effective that she chose trust and compassion whenever possible.

I feel like I should give her more words, but really... what more can you say? She shows up on screen and you start smiling. She radiates goodness and light. She makes you lose yourself in that cheesy old TV show. It worked because of her.

Oh man.

Rue McClanahan passed away. Growing up I used to seek this actres sout, and she's the reason I watched early Mama's Family and caught a few episodes of Maude, and a couple of fun PBS shows (I remember one where she was playing a Mother Superior in a group of nuns holding a telethon that was hilarious) but like everyone else I remember Blanche best. I was such a Golden Girls fan growing up. She was the picture of the vibrant older woman to me, just fun and full of life and humor about everything. It was amazing to see this kind of character in our society that's so freaked out about sex, women's sexuality, and older women's sexuality especially, let alone have her become a comic icon. McClanahan's Blanche Devereaux is reason I count characters like the Arthurian Morgause and the DC Comics Hipployta among my favorites.

He wears a smile.

Among the many fine offerings of the base library are boxed sets of the Twin Peaks television series. I remembered the series from when it first aired but as I was only nine years old at the time and had no control over the television (though I managed to see a few episodes because I remembered the premise, the Nadine amnesia storyline, and Agent Cooper) this was my first chance to see the actual resolution.

I understood that it would be strange. I remember that the main character was basically a clairvoyant FBI agent, that there was at least one character with unexplained superstrength, and the Red Room dream is infamous. I was prepared for a mystery/horror series, but I expected it to be more surreal than petrifying. But I had missed one thing in my sporadic childhood viewing.

BOB.



Bob is, without a doubt, the most terrifying character ever to cross the screen. Mike Myers, Freddy Kreuger, It? They don't hold a candle to Bob. Jigsaw? Don't make me laugh. Bob is the scariest thing ever put on film, and they didn't even need to give him makeup.

It's amazing. It's just this guy. This guy in denim with scraggly long hair. In normal life he'd just look like someone's scraggly uncle, but introduced in the context of the Twin Peaks series, he is nightmare fuel of the highest order. And the freakiest thing of all? He was an accident. Frank Silva was a stagehand who trapped himself on a set, and then got accidentally caught in the mirror in one of the scenes.



From there he became the star of sudden cuts, dream sequences, and of course, my nightmares. Normally I despise the quick cut to a gruesome scene or image in horror movies. It seems like such a cheap way to build tension. But modern movies tend to add particularly shocking images. These aren't particularly shocking images when taken out of context. The quick cuts tend to occur only when someone has a vision, or when the audience needs to know he's behind something. They build on the character's concept as a supernatural entity. Bob's appearances aren't a clumsy insertion into an otherwise dull scene, they're artful reveals.

The character never really gets any dialogue, but he doesn't need it. He just has to look menacing and slink around. Lynch used him only in shadowy visions and--most creepily of all--mirrors. By using him so sparingly and only in specifically unearthly scenes, he turns this ordinary guy into something completely unnerving. There's no makeup, CGI or gore needed. It's just lighting and emotion. It's bare bones horror.

That's fucking genius. That's how a horror story should be made. People and things that would be otherwise unremarkable are cast in a strange light and turned into something sinister.

Today's Unscheduled Unedited TV Rant

One of my favorite television series is Newsradio--it makes me happy and I can watch the entire series repeatedly--but I swear if one more character refer to Matthew as a "sweet guy" I'm going to chuck one of my prized DVDs out the window. Matthew, the resident Weird Guy in the office, the low man on the totem pole so to speak is NOT a sweet guy. He's a fucking hyena.

In several episodes, Matthew momentarily gets the upper hand and starts to act like a complete asshole. Like when he punches Bill and suddenly gets Alpha Male Syndrome, or when Max shows up and Matthew enters a power struggle with him, or when Matthew suddenly becomes smart and condescending as hell, or any of the numerous moments when the punchline is Matthew suddenly saying something cutthroat or mean. And whenever this happens one of the other characters gets concerned that sweet but annoying Matthew is acting so unlike himself and tries to talk him down.

And the thing is, I've seen this behavior in real life. I've seen it at school, I've seen it in the military, I've seen it on the internet. For example, we had a guy in my last office office who got picked on. At first I would tell the guys to lay off him, and defend him when I thought things were overboard. Then came the day someone on shift let someone embarrassing slip and garnered the mockery of the entire office. And GUESS WHO was the one who went too far trying to cement himself as Not The Lowest Ranking In The Room. He failed because the other guy's embarrassment was fleeting, but we all got an ugly glimpse into his true nature. The process seemed to repeat itself whenever someone new became the butt of the day's joke. And almost always, due to his overdoing it, he would be the butt of the day's jokes again before the shift was over. In trying to leave the shitty social role he kept digging his way into it, because everyone quickly realized that if they didn't assert themselves over him they'd be in for ruthless teasing rather than the normal maintenance-world joking.

And the thing I started to perceive about this guy, and other guys who display the same behavior pattern is that they look at the social order like a wolf pack. The Matthews of the world figure there's a bottom and they are it, but there's a chance they can seize on someone else and not be the most put upon person in the room. And so he is very nice and deferential and self-effacing around the other members of the office because he knows they can and will kick his ass. But the second he sees the slightest bit of weakness he tries to exploit it.

And this is the sort of person that Matthew in Newsradio is patterned after. And the thing about this character type is that everyone assumes that--because they act sweet when trying to ingratiate themselves to the rest of the group--they are sweet kind people who can't cut a break. But the real nature shows through NOT when the social order offers you the least power, but when the social order offers you enough power to act out what you really want.

So characters like Matthew, created to be sweet sympathetic people? They aren't. It would be one thing, I suppose, if the guy acted sweet and deferential once he got the upper hand but Matthew (and the guy in my old office, and the guy from my old school and a thousand other "sweet guys" scattered across the internet) does not. He's an asshole just waiting for the opportunity to be an asshole. That's the punchline of at least a third of his jokes. That's why we enjoy watching the other characters push him around.

And why does seeing that the characters are fooled by Matthews sweet facade piss me off so much? Because of all the real-life Matthews who've managed to sell themselves as sweet guys, and all the fiction dedicated to selling this personality type as a sweet guy and because I just plain don't like people who put up a false front and succeed at it. Bastards.

RIP Eartha

Eartha Kitt has passed away.

American Gothic

I found the entire run of American Gothic on hulu.com.  I remember that show form when I was a kid.  I adored it.  Lucas Buck was the perfect kind of villain, a total bastard who was smart, calculating, seemed like a great guy on the outside, had vague power over reality and lost only because he expected certain people to be more cowardly or meanspirited than they actually were.  I never saw the entire season through, so I'm not sure if he was ever revealed to actually be the Devil, but there was a pretty good case for it in the episodes I remember.

I just spent a good part of the night the uploaded episodes.  I made it to #8, which was the "Strong Arm of the Law.  This is an episode I only ever saw once, but that I remember it more clearly than any other episode.  Because it was awesome. .  It showed that Sheriff Buck was even worse when he was the protagonist you had to root for than when he was the antagonist.  Four would-be crimelords set up shop in town and start extorting money from the shopkeepers as part of a protection racket.  They are clever enough to cover a murder, but otherwise they strike me as total fucking idiots.  No sense of subtlety.  They extort money for the "Sheriffs' Retirement Fund" and the "Policeman's Ball".  They beat up an off-duty Deputy in the middle of the street just to show that they freaking can.  When the Sheriff comes to confront them, they act like he can't do anything to them.  The only reason they manage to get away with anything is because the townspeople assume they are working for the Sheriff, and the entire town is scared shitless of him.  Buck spents the first part of the episode letting this crap go on, then starts to pick them off one by one.  And he doesn't arrest them (he must have an aversion to paperwork), and he doesn't just kill them.  He tortures them.  The entire point of the episode seems to be demonstrating just why the entire town is scared shitless of Sheriff Buck.

As villains go, this guy may still be one of my favorites.  I am so freaking happy this series was put on the internet

Dammit, Kalinara

I was feeling open-minded and relaxed this week, so I let Kalinara talk me into watching a show she recommended.  An old British show called Sapphire and Steel.  And now I'm freaking addicted.  I'll probably have to track down the radio recordings too.

Damn her!

(Steel is freaking awesome, though.)

Reason #256 the I enjoy time travel stories

I've been watching episodes of JLU this weekend, and I finally got to see the Once and Future Thing, where there's a time shift and John is replaced by Hal for a couple of scenes.

It's a really cool bit, because Hal steps right into the plot, and answers everyone's stares with "Another time shift. I'm Hal Jordan, I'm up to speed. Carry on." John doesn't miss a beat when he comes back. They're so natural about it.

They did this with Kyle and Hal in JLA/Avengers, too. I think I've seen it in a few other JLA stories. There's some sort of DCU law where for the purposes of a time travel story, any Green Lantern can replace any other Green Lantern, and they won't be fazed or confused by this.

I swear I've seen this in almost every time travel story where a Green Lantern appears. We can only hope the entire GLC never gets together during a time travel story, because the readers wouldn't be able to follow the scene with everyone changing positions. I imagine the characters would laugh it off, though. (It's all fun and games until someone get replaced with a Parallaxed version of themselves, after all.)

They try to do this with other characters, but it works best with Lanterns for the variety. I mean, you have 4 Earth-based Lanterns running around as it is. They've all been with the JLA at once point or another, and given the trouble with Earth it's reasonable to assume that any version of the JLA would have dealings with the local Lantern. Even going before Hal you have Abin Sur (and if you screw up the timeline enough, Donna Parker or Carol Ferris would work) and after Kyle there would be any future Lantern idea you could come up with. You can just randomly throw an alien in there from either way.

Anyway, there's not much point to this post. It's just a fun trait of time travel stories.